Attack of the conservative crybabies

It certainly hasn't been a good week to be a conservative.

For a movement that endlessly exclaims from the highest perches to 'support the troops', they certainly don't walk the talk, especially considering that the Bush Administration allowed the top military hospital in the country to descend below care facilities in third world countries. This week, we found out what their idea of 'supporting the troops' really meant, as a scandal involving Walter Reed Hospital resulted in many heads-a-rolling. Yes kids, 'supporting the troops' is much more than waving flags and listening to country music.

Then Annthrax Annie Coulter's childish schoolyard antics at last Friday's Conservative Political Action Conference created such an outcry that even the most strident supporters of the 'Minister of Hate' have practically abandoned her. And advertisers on her website pulled out. It's rather telling that they supported her attack on the 9/11 widows and her call for death sentences against Muslims and liberals, but an immature schoolyard taunt looks to finally drive a stake through the heart of the beast.

A few days later, I. Lewis "Scooter" Libby Jr., close aide to Vice President Cheney fell on his sword for the sake of the administration and was convicted of four felony counts related to the administration purposely blowing the cover of former CIA agent Valerie Plame. Tsk, tsk. Of course, this does not bode well for the rather shaky foundation on which the Bush Administration currently sits. Cries for impeachment are getting louder and louder, and even Bush's Iraq boondoggle could come to a quicker end, since the Democrats in Congress are close to setting a deadline for withdrawal. For once, the buck just may stop at Bush's desk, as Plame is set to testify before Congress, and more and more roads are increasingly leading to the White House. Sucks to be Dubya right now.

Former House Speaker and perrenial hypocritical Republican scumbag Newt Gingrich, who led the witch hunt against former President Bill Clinton in the '90s over his extramarital dalliances, admitted to Focus on the Family's James Dobson (who usually seems way too concerned about focusing on everyone else's families) what the whole world already suspected - he was having an affair of his own while bashing Clinton over his. In the understatement of the year, he confessed, "There are times that I have fallen short of my own standards." Evidentially, Gingrich assumes that coming clean in this fashion would help bolster his already dead-in-the-water presidential bid. Well, hate to break it to you Newt, but you have no standards. You dumped your first wife on her deathbed, for cryin' out loud!

And the wingnuts' favorite whipping boy, Air America Radio, looks to have a new lease on life. Of course, this being a blog about liberal/progressive talk radio and alternative media, the focus of this entry was originally going to be about reaction to the changing of the guard at the network, particularly the reaction from Air America's harshest critics. I started this article a few days ago and let it sit and ferment with age. And a few other articles here in the past few days got tons of attention and took away some of my time, including one quickie entry about Air America's webstream problems and one I wrote about John Edwards' boycott of the FOX 'News'-sponsored Democratic debate this summer. Buzzflash took note of my FOX 'News' article and linked it prominently on their front page (they had done previously last month with an article I wrote about Thom Hartmann). Needless to say, this link placement generated roughly 1,500 more hits on this site. Thanks guys!

Since there are other blogs that cover Annthrax Annie's antics and the Libby Trial much better than I possible could, I'll stick to what I know. So, Air America has risen from the ashes, and of course the wingnut blogs are talking about it, though not as much as the bankruptcy filing a few months ago (they really hate good news). Still, the usual gang of idiots weighed in with their predictable responses.

Ravenous Air America cheerleader Brian Maloney, aka the Radio Equalizer Tranquilizer is enthusiastic about the change, raving about new company president Mark Green's "bold vision." He continued, "You’re going to incorporate blogs, audio streaming and video clips into your website? Nobody’s ever thought of that!"

He also seemed rather enthusiastic about Stephen L. Green's purchase, and what it meant for his brother, "Hey Bro, thanks for the gig!" Of course, this statement from Maloney is quite ironic, since he should be the last person to get snarky about anyone's employment status (Green already has a successful career, BTW). He also pondered how liberal 'investors' have no real idea how a radio network should be run. Kinda like getting fired from a part-time radio gig and setting up an attack blog directed at your former employer, right? Gee, how professional. Remember, always question the source.

Maloney also lamented the loss of their affiliate in Burlington, VT. Also ironic in that it is quite unlikely he could actually find Burlington on a map.

He concludes with a tease that there will be "an elephant in the room," a veiled threat promise of new piles o' steaming hot Radio Tranquilizer silliness, soon to be delivered to the gullible readers of his blog, who will no doubt swallow every single nonsensical word. I'll bet he really, really misses Al Franken.

So, what exactly is this 'elephant'? Well, the very next entry on his blog contained perhaps the most earth-shattering development to have come thus far in the whole Air America affair. Something that will rock the network off its shaky foundation. And a development that could go so far as to disrupt the earth's axis. Yes indeed, someone at Mother Jones dissed Air America. Yawn. Not like its a big deal anyway. They don't like Air America and that's fine. And the ancient hippies folks at Mother Jones spend more time sucking up to the likes of Maloney than their own side. I say piss off to them. In the age of the internet, they've become a leftist relic of the past. So, in essence, this whole thing boils down to "yeah, what he said." Sheesh! No wonder why the effeminate-voiced Maloney can't move beyond 'whiny fringe part-timer' in radio. That and the squeaky voice, of course.

Of course, while Maloney and his ilk love it when people on the left devour their own, he's rather mum about a recent notable act of cannibalism on his side of the fence. Even his own buddy Michelle Malkin figures into this rather prominently. So, back to Eva Braun Annthrax Annie Coulter. Ol' Horseface, while playing her usual game of 'how low can you go,' referred to Democratic presidential candidate John Edwards as a "faggot," proving once and for all that her education level had not progressed beyond fourth grade. Well, none of her ilk really said anything about her until the proverbial shit hit the mainstream media fan. And when it did, she started losing many friends. Maloney's partner-in-grime Malkin was one of those to blast her boorish behavior, saying Coultler "sullied the hard work of hundreds of CPAC participants and exhibitors and tarred the collective reputation of thousands of CPAC attendees." Funny, the Tranquilizer has been very, very mum about this backlash, as he has with Walter Reed, Scooter Libby and anything else not FOX 'News'-approved. In fact, in keeping with his typical fashion, he's really said nothing that makes a whole hell of a lot of sense. An article that, as is often the case with Your Radio Tranquilizer, is really about nothing. Ironic, since this incident has virtually exploded throughout the mainstream media, and even spilled over onto his beloved talk radio. Yet, nary a peep from Screech. Instead, we hear about how some nobody at Mother Jones is skeptical about the future of Air America. Hmm...

Let's be honest here, Maloney's a parasite. He needs Air America more than Air America needs him. They're still in business and everyone currently there still has a job, while he's still trying to hold together a career of infrequent radio fill-ins, ridiculous attempts at self-promotion, flogging cheese baskets via Amazon and trashing former employers in the media while trying to make himself into a very low-tiered pseudo-celebrity. He's merely a whiny attention whore, endlessly wallowing in misery to help prop up his ridiculously low level of self-esteem. In short, the guy's a complete loser.

Speaking of losers, further down the nutosphere we find Lone Wacko over at BoreAmerica, who has been blogging on the fringes and eating Maloney's scraps for going on three years, hovering around Air America since day one like a ravenous vulture waiting for his feast to drop dead. In another example of pure irony, BoreAmerica got shut down for most of Tuesday afternoon, replaced with a message demanding payment to the site's host. Guess he forgot to toss more quarters in the coin slot next to the hard drive, huh? So, the guy who blasts Air America for not paying their bills can't pay his own. I just can't make this stuff up! Anyway, he must have cleared a little room on the Visa card and got back on, with the first hasty post accusing Air America's new owners of trying to profit from the Iraq war. Interestingly enough, I have yet to see any mention of Halliburton on that site, but should I really be surprised?

And with his Air America-attack blog looking to buy the proverbial farm, Lone Wackjob is directing his energies elsewhere, attacking Wikipedia for (get this)... bias. He's even been spamming the comments on Tranquilizer's blog to pimp this ridiculous endeavor. Guess he didn't get the memo that anyone can edit Wikipedia, including dumbasses like him. Duh! Well, let's just hope he can pay the hosting bill. If not, he could always go to Conservopedia, a new wiki that should be a bit more friendly to his ilk. Where else can you find out that dinosaurs and man coexisted? Remember, never let something as simple as facts get in the way of anything!

And of course, there's the gang over at liberal message board Free Republic. They're so optimistic about the changes at Air America that they chime in with their own business advice:

If this was a business under the same roof the only hope they would have would be arson to collect the insurance money, then go under.

He is going to end up with a small fortune on Air America, by starting out with a large fortune.

...and just what he go for his money and assumed liabilities?

I've got some good advice for him if he wants to turn a profit: Book conservative talk shows.

Ahhh... you can just feel the love!

If you prefer your commentary bordering on the absurd, mentally-challenged wanna-be toughguy and lower-tier blogger Leather Penguin Idiot gets in his own two cents, once again demonstrating his complete lack of knowledge of the radio industry:

Yes, Virginia, the firesale WAS about finding that moron Markie a job:

Skippy? You’re paying WWRL three mill per for a shit signal… and have outstanding debts that will keep you in court for years. You netlet don’t currently control morning drive on your alleged “flagship.”

You’re hosed.

In full disclosure, last fall, I threw a bone to this guy, adding a comment that politely corrected some very, very wrong information that could flat-out embarrass him (as if he needed any additional help in that regard). Needless to say, the Penguin lost it completely. The best he could muster was "blow me." I'd print the rest, but I'm trying to keep this thing somewhat short, and to keep this as kid-friendly as possible (hey, I'm tryin').

Funny thing is, around the time of the exchange, I checked his readership stats. For all that work, he was pulling in less than 50 readers a day. And it certainly hasn't changed much either. Lotta work for no readers, don'tcha think? How 'bout less South Park, more maturity?

Elsewhere, there are still some wingnuts that have fully convinced themselves that Air America is no longer in business. Take this guy, Steve Yuhas, who even titles his op-ed, "If only liberals still had Air America..." Ironic , since his station, KOGO in San Diego, is right down the freaking hall from KLSD, a station that carries... Air America Radio! One would think he'd realize this, even with his one-hour Sunday evening show. And this nut actually thinks they're out of business as well! Lesson to be learned: Being on the left means never having to make shit up.

And conservatives should grow thicker skins and stop acting like crybabies.