News Corp. buying NBC? Don't count on it

A little rumor floated by mainstream news organizations yesterday certainly scared the crap out of quite a few people. Yes, something even scarier than Orly Taitz without a wig.

In the latest curveball thrown in the NBC Universal sale negotiations, a couple new potential suitors were floated about. Namely Liberty Media, which seems to want to buy a stake in everything, and News Corp. Yes, that News Corp. The owners of the New York Post, the Wall Street Journal and the FOX properties. Including FOX 'News'.

So, what's the deal? Is Rupert Murdoch looking to acquire a competing movie studio? A rival broadcast network? A business news channel that people actually watch? Would he add more tits n' ass to "Law And Order"? Or, are they looking to squash once and for all MSNBC, that bastion of liberal subversion that competes with their right-wing propaganda organ that is FAUX 'News'? Or, are they just making a little noise, and using this opportunity to peek inside a rival?

Right-wingers are salivating over this one. Syndicated radio talker Mark Levin dreams of MSNBC becoming a branch of FAUX News. 

So, where does the "Australian Mafia" fit into the equation? Well, the deal is far from done, and News Corp. and Liberty Media have surfaced as possible bidders for NBC. Granted, neither company has approached GE.

And the thought of News Corp. buying a media conglomerate like NBC is beyond laughable.

First and foremost, I wouldn't bet on News Corp. being a serious suitor. As it stands now, it appears that Comcast looks to have the upper hand, though there is still quite a bit of wrangling to do before General Electric sells 51% of their 80% stake (Vivendi owns the other 20%). As part of a potential deal, GE could eventually sell their remaining stake to Comcast over the next three years.

So, let's say Murdoch were to buy NBC, he'd have to run through a major government gauntlet. Let's start with the Federal Trade Commission. It is headed by four commissioners, all appointed by President Obama. And we all know what the Obama White House thinks of FOX, right? So, getting through the Obama FTC with a deal to buy a major television network, film studio, station owner and media conglomerate is most certain to raise eyebrows. If you thought getting that Dow Jones purchase through the Bush FTC was a pain in the ass, hoo boy! You ain't seen nothing yet! And that was during the Bush Administration, which was always happy to do favors for them. FAUX hasn't done itself any favors with the current administration. Yesterday, one of their hosts, Glenn Beck, compared their treatment by the White House to Jews during the Holocaust!

But let's suppose they get through that roadblock. Next, it's on to the Federal Communications Commission. It consists of five commissioners, three of them Democrats. And Chairman Julius Genachowski is  a firm backer of media diversity. Among the agency's current goals is the encouragement of competition, rather than consolidation. Considering that a purchase of one network by another would entail haggling over buying not only two broadcast network (NBC and Telemundo), but broadcast properties (i.e. affiliate stations). The likelihood of News Corp. owning four stations in the country's biggest media markets is not going to fly past Obama's FCC (the current maximum is two). Four network affiliates and two newspapers in New York? Yeah, right! Unlike the Clinton White House, Obama isn't stupid enough to cave on deregulation. He obviously knows how that backfired on Clinton.

So, let's say they get past the FTC and the FCC. Well, News Corp. would have to unload stations, as they did last year when they spun off a number of their network affiliates. But in the markets where they still own stations, they own two. One station airs FOX programming (like "24" and "American Idol") and the other is affiliated with their MyNetworkTV, which for this season 'downgraded' itself from 'network' status and started carrying rerun leftovers from other networks (and wrestling!). So, a FOX/NBC combo would have to unload stations in many cities, in what is a buyers' market for broadcast properties. They could ditch a poorly-rated MyNetworkTV outlet and lose their shirts, but in some cases, they'd also have to unload a Telemundo affiliate owned in the same market by NBC. Two low-rated stations in a market at the same time? Yeah, good luck with that. And that's if they could get it approved. And even still, News Corp. would only be part-owner of NBC. Is it really worth it?

Then, News Corp. would have come up with money. And after shooting their load on Dow Jones last year for the Wall Street Journal, and a very soft market for media advertising, they'd have to come up with part of the $30 billion or so it would take to buy NBC Universal. Not likely. But on the bright side, it could bankrupt Murdoch once and for all, and live will be better for all.

So, Keith Olbermann can relax. He probably won't have to work for Murdoch again. The new host of "Meet The Press" will not be Glenn Beck. "Law And Order" won't be resorting to bare tushy shots. And Rachel Maddow won't be forced to wash Sean Hannity's car. The News Corp. Death Star won't be swallowing this planet.

Essentially, Murdoch, often one to make a lot of noise while seemingly standing in the shadows, is just trying to scare the crap out of people.

Thursday Tweeting

And here's a look at the week that was (so far), via the LTR Twitter page...

• First, those tighty-righties are really getting their undies in a bunch. When they're not rooting for this country to crumble, or plotting ways to overthrow our duly elected government, they're out there seemingly doing everything except for the job they were elected to do. Like Sen. Jim DeMint (R-SC), who's still willing to torpedo the effort in his continuous quest to make it "Obama's Waterloo." How about Rep. John Linder (R-GA), who compared the Obama administration to "Hitler's Germany and Mussolini's Italy." Debating Hate Crimes, Rep. Louie Gohmert (R-TX), the guy who held up the "What Bill?" sign during Obama's address to Congress last month, has really lost what's left of his mind, rambling on in one speech about bestiality, sex with corpses, and how he once voted for a black man, to somehow prove that Republicans aren't racist (Rick Santorum would be so proud). Or Michelle Bachmann, who's still her usual crazy self.
• Gotta love RNC chairman Michael Steele. First, following a media event at the White House attended by an assortment of doctors, he claimed that the American Medical Organization "doesn't have credibility on health care reform." And then, as his party and its assortment of crazed lemmings have been attacking ACORN, turns out that Steele actually gave props to ACORN in an old speech. Amid all the bumbling of their beleaguered party chair, and his embarrassing attempts at setting GOP talking points, the rank and file have essentially told him to shut up. Moronic policy should be left in more able hands.
• Just the other night, MSNBC's Keith Olbermann gave a blistering hour-long "Special Comment" on the sad state of America health care. As it turns out, voters prefer Obama's approach to health care over whatever it is the Republicans are trying to do/not to do, and why Obama's overall approval ratings are up 6%. Maybe it's because of things like this. And after have all thrown their hats in the ring in support of some kind of health care reform, it appears the GOP as a whole is ready to cave in.
• Allow me to give credit where credit is due. I'll admit that FAUX 'News' is doing well in the ratings. But an abundance of viewers does not make what they report any more credible. Repeating lies often enough does not miraculously turn them into the truth. If anything, they're doing nothing more than contributing to the death of real journalism. And soon enough, what comes up must come down, and people will get tired of the nonsense and start seeking out the truth. They'll especially tire of the various on-air circus geeks and perverts who seek to divide, rather than unite this country. Like Glenn Beck, who this week lost 19 more sponsors. In an interesting bit of irony, Beck, who has long had a history of making shit up, went after a site that tried to make shit up about him. As LBJ once said, make the bastard deny it. Things are so bad that all the pathetic GOP talking points in the world couldn't keep Sean Hannity from getting his ass handed to him by Michael Moore.
  
  And it seems as if the entire Murdoch media empire has it in for our President. Just this week, the company's New York Post fires the editor who dared criticize an outrageously racist Obama-Stimulus editorial cartoon that originated from the paper earlier this year. But I guess FAUX isn't all bad. Shepard Smith jumped off the reservation when he actually swatted down right-wing lies about health care reform. Hmm... they must have missed that one.
• Turn off that FAUX garbage and start stimulating your brain. Here's 15 Podcasts That Will Make You Smarter, as submitted by a reader.
• Perhaps the more high-profile right-wing pundits are seeking out new careers after the glitter fades. Rush Limbaugh (subject of what appears to be a new biography) is looking to buy his very own NFL team, the hopeless St. Louis Rams. Yes, the same Rush Limbaugh who seems to have it in for black quarterbacks, and who once called basketball the "favorite sport of gangs." So, what's he gonna do about all those black people playing for the team? Nonetheless, if he actually succeeds in getting the Rams, just don't let him in to the team's medicine cabinet.
• So, the oft-wacky Conservapedia (which I'm almost convinced is a parody site) thinks there's too much liberal bias in the Bible. And they want to change all that by creating their own version, one that fits in to their own beliefs. Does this completely kill their argument that the Bible is the verbatim word of the Lord, rather than a book based on "The Word" as transcribed by biased scholars? Thankfully, the good folks at Twitter have done a great job in giving suggestions for the proposed "Conservative Bible."

So, what else is going on?

• Hey, did you know that the state of Mississippi actually subsidizes a low rated commercial right-wing talk show network? That's what Republicans consider 'welfare.'
• Happy birthday to Monty Python, still lookin' good at 40!
• Paste Magazine counts down Rachel Maddow's Ten Greatest Moments.
• Here's a rather interesting article about the many different web browsers on the market, and how each of them is doing in market share.
• Corrupt former congressman Tom Delay's a quitter, and is also hoping to avoid another upcoming reality show, Dancing Behind Bars.
• Move over, Chuck Norris. Step aside Sylvester Stallone. John Elway is now a bonafide terrorist fighter.
• The latest Rock Band game, featuring The Beatles, is obviously inspiring other artists to get in on the act. U2, after turning down an offer to appear in the game, is rethinking their stance. Not to be outdone, look for David Bowie and Iggy Pop to appear in a new Rock Band game - Lego Rock Band. Pop admitted that he always wanted to have the freedom of being a toy. Speaking of The Beatles, your humble blogger (that's me) has made it through most of the band's remastered catalog, and hopes to have a follow-up review coming soon. Consider yourself warned.
• Finally, Sarah Palin may be "Going Rogue", but Levi Johnston, who formerly was bangin' her daughter, is "going commando" in an upcoming issue Playgirl. Soon, ladies (and lots of gay men) across the land will see Johnston as only Bristol Palin has. That is, if they really, really want to.

Remember, you can follow all the fun at the Twitter page, updated daily.

Obama to FOX: Drop dead

Starting later today (Sunday), President Obama embarks on an unprecedented media blitz to promote his policies, most notably health care reform. He will appear in one-on-one interviews on the morning talking head shows of NBC, ABC, CBS, CNN and even Univision. In addition, he will appear with David Letterman on Monday night. Yes, Obama will seemingly be everywhere this week.

Notice any glaring omissions? Oh yeah, FOX got the shaft! Ha ha!

"We figured Fox would rather show 'So You Think You Can Dance' than broadcast an honest discussion about health insurance reform," White House spokesman Josh Earnest told ABC News. Last week, the FOX network opted not to carry Obama's speech before a joint session of Congress, deeming a mind-numbing reality show as more important to the welfare of this country than (gasp!) the state of America's health care system, which tells you all you really need to know about FOX.

In addition, why the hell should the Obama administration throw a bone to a so-called 'news network' who's chief aim these days is to rip the country apart.

Of course, the people at FOX News are grumbling about the snub. "FOX News Sunday" host Chris Wallace, all 4'11" of him, is acting rather pissy about it. "They are the biggest bunch of crybabies I have dealt with in my 30 years in Washington," said Wallace. Not sure if he's referring to the White House or his own network, though.

But really, why can't Wallace admit that his show's ratings suck something fierce, and that FOX 'News' is nothing more than a televised freak show, rather than do the typical conservative thing and push the blame around? His daddy should have spanked him with a baseball bat.

Needless to say, it's about time Obama took a stand. Many respected his initial efforts to reach across the political divide to help bring this country back together. But as they say, you can lead a horse to water but... you know the rest. Obviously, FOX, and their contemporaries in talk radio and other entities in right-wing media, see great ratings potential in reaching out to their own base of the ignorant, paranoid and unintelligent of America. And to accomplish this, they seek to do all they can to divide this country and rip it to shreds.

All the while, they prance and dance like their shit don't stink. Who else would take out newspaper ads claiming that their competitors wouldn't cover a ridiculous event that had been needlessly overhyped by their own hosts? An event that FOX News helped to fabricate?

Sadly, this counterproductive thinking has spread to Washington. Elected Republicans, with no real leader to guide them down a more rational path, are following the cues of the insane extremist elements of their party. As a result, they are doing everything they can to stand in Obama's way. They'll even resort to encouraging lies to accomplish this. Not because of his policies, but to stick it to him on a personal level. Why should Obama waste his time trying to appease a bunch of conservative crybabies? They lost, fuck 'em. They rammed the Iraq War down our throats, now it's time for them to bend over and take our health care reform. Fair is fair, right?

Hopefully, FOX will get the message, of being the only television news (for lack of a better word) entity to get the brush-off from the President. Of course, they won't. As a result, let 'em beg for scraps. FOX is a useless joke.

Read more at: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/09/19/snubbed-by-obama-fox-news_n_292254.html

If a tree falls in the forest...

As I see it, a radio show that nobody listens to will be simulcast on a cable channel that nobody watches. Makes sense, right?

Well, I would assume FOX Business has more viewers than Don Imus' former television home, RFD-TV. At least I think they do.

Reuters says:

The Fox business news channel of Rupert Murdoch's News Corp has agreed to simulcast the radio show of Don Imus, the ratings-grabber who stirred a national controversy on race two years ago.

Fox Business Network (FBN) said on Thursday it had signed a multiyear deal to show the Imus program on weekdays from 6 a.m. to 9 a.m. starting on October 5.

"The program will incorporate additional business news into its format, which now offers a mix of current affairs, politics, entertainment and sports," Fox said in a statement.

The Imus show will continue to be syndicated on the radio by Citadel Broadcasting Corp.

Fox Business Network launched in October 2007 to compete with CNBC, a unit of NBC Universal which is owned by General Electric and Vivendi.

Tune in. You may be the only one watching.

Hannity, Colmes break up; Yoko not blamed

Politico.com is reporting this afternoon that Fox News has announced that Alan Colmes will be leaving that network's "Asshat & Doormat" "Hannity & Colmes" after 12 years. He will depart effective at the end of this year.

“I approached Bill Shine (FNC’s Senior Vice President of Programming) earlier this year about wanting to move on after 12 years to develop new and challenging ways to contribute to the growth of the network," Colmes said in a statement. "Besides, I'm sick of playing the bitch." Okay, I made that last part up.

Colmes continued, "Although it’s bittersweet to leave one of the longest marriages on cable news, I’m proud that both Sean (Hannity) and I remained unharmed after sitting side by side, night after night for so many years.”

Sean Hannity said Colmes was "a remarkable co-host," "great friend," and "skillful debate partner. He was fun to yell over. The only thing I really didn't like about him is that he made me look much shorter and much less intelligent than I really am.”

(NOTE TO READERS: Forgive me, artistic licence took over and posessed me to have a little fun with this).

Colmes will remain a Fox commentator, and continue hosting "The Alan Colmes Show" on Fox News Radio. Also, he's developing a weekend show. He's not going too far - he knows where Hannity buried the bodies.

Hannity, meanwhile, will likely continue on as host of the revamped show, to be titled "Hannity and Hannity," in which the obnoxious, uber-patriotic host will carry on long discussions with himself in a rather large, empty studio. Every few minutes will feature him patting himself on the shoulder and telling himself how great an American he really is.

Okay, I made that part up too. Please forgive me.

O'Reilly prefers cheese with his whine

If you ever desired more proof that right-wingers are perhaps the most thin-skinned people on the planet, then read further...

Anyone who even casually follows the ongoing soap opera that is cable news knows that MSNBC's Keith Olbermann and FOX News Channel's Bill O'Reilly can't stand each other. Olbermann constantly blasts O'Reilly on his weeknight show, Countdown, which airs opposite The O'Reilly Factor.

The mere mention of Olbermann's name gets O'Reilly hot. Absolutely livid. Who could forget the time on his radio show when he went on a rather nasty and ridiculous on-air outburst and threatened to sic 'FOX Security' on a prank caller at the very moment he said, "I think Keith Olbermann's show..."?

O'Reilly hates Olbermann so much that he makes it a point to never mention his adversary specifically by name (though he has had surrogates do it). Rather, he attacks Olbermann's boss and NBC's owner, General Electric. Olbermann, on the other hand, often refers to O'Reilly by such nicknames as the Sisyphus of morons, the Big Giant Head, and Ted Baxter.

Now, the war of words has escalated. Olbermann had fun last week ripping on the old Inside Edition outtake that featured O'Reilly erupting into a profanity-laced tantrum. He even jokingly brought in a phony body language expert to dissect the now-infamous clip. In retaliation, O'Reilly, who rarely misses a chance to attack those he sees as his enemies, is calling GE's chief executive a "pinhead" and a "despicable human being" who bears responsibility for the deaths of American soldiers in Iraq.

Howard Kurtz, media columnist for The Washington Post, claims that the war is moving higher up the food chain. Allegedly, there have been back-channel discussions involving the likes of News Corp. owner Rupert Murdoch, Fox News Chairman Roger Ailes, NBC chief executive Jeff Zucker and General Electric's CEO, Jeffrey Immelt.

One day last summer, Ailes called Zucker on his cellphone, furious after Olbermann trashed him on his show. Ailes allegedly warned Zucker that if Olbermann didn't lay off the attacks on him or his network, he would sic his attack dog, O'Reilly, on NBC. He threatened to use the company's New York Post as well. Zucker evidently told Ailes to go pound sand. Perhaps Ailes should have used this guy.

Since then, Olbermann hasn't let up, leading O'Reilly to toss out ludicrous accusations toward GE, claiming that, because they do some limited business in Iran, that they are causing the deaths of American soldiers (though FOX News' constant cheerleading for the Iraq War hasn't). The kicker was when he claimed that "If my child were killed in Iraq, I would blame the likes of Jeffrey Immelt."

In addition, several years ago, O'Reilly's agent also allegedly contacted Zucker on a few occasions, demanding that Olbermann and other MSNBC personalities, such as Joe Scarborough lay off his client. So, in other words, O'Reilly, who has never been afraid to attack those he despises from the safe confines of his television studio bunker, has others fight his battles in the real world. Witness last year, when FOX News' Geraldo Rivera threatened to kick Olbermann's ass.

Of course, FOX News denies that Ailes has ever made such demands to NBC, claiming that he has no editorial control over the content of host-driven shows such as O'Reilly's or even the New York Post. GE and NBC executives have maintained otherwise. Ironically, the New York Post published a hit piece on Olbermann just this morning. Interesting.

Coincidentally, Ailes' friends in the White House today sent a nastygram to NBC regarding what they view as unfair coverage of the President. They obviously hate them for their freedom.

It is true that the "O'Reilly Factor" gets better overall ratings than "Countdown." One would think an established twelve year-old show up against a much younger counterpart would. But while O'Reilly does better overall when total viewers are taken into account, the playing field between the two shows is much more even in the much-desired 25-54 demographic. On occasion, Countdown even bests O'Reilly in this group. MSNBC’s research claims that the median age for O’Reilly’s audience is 71, while Olbermann’s is 59. Guess what age group advertisers would rather have?

Now, Olbermann must be doing something right. Right-wingers absolutely detest the man. And the hostility on their side gets even more heated whenever Olbermann gives one of his "Special Comments." The most recent one, about Bush claiming he gave up golf as a sacrifice in these hard times, must have ruffled a few feathers. Syndicated radio conservotalker Mark Levin demanded that NBC suspend Olbermann, and called him "Tokyo Rose in a suit," which smacks of irony because, like Olbermann, Levin is himself an opinionated media commentator.

Now, what does one make of all this bickering and whining? Ailes is an interesting person to talk about any of this, since he earned his bones in the cutthroat world of Republican politics, where he even co-wrote that infamous "Willie Horton" ad for George H.W. Bush's 1988 presidential bid. At the helm of FOX News since its inception, he has encouraged right wing pit bulls such as O'Reilly and Sean Hannity to be as nasty as they wanna be. To be on the opposite end and pretend to be the victim (typical of many right wing attack dogs) is the epitome of hypocrisy.

Many people are just plain fed up with all this dick swinging among the talking heads. I for one feel reminiscent for the time when cable news was about news, something that has been sorely missing since Ted Turner sold CNN to Time Warner and bolted to his Montana ranch. But since cable news these days is more about sizzle than steak, and opinionated, egocentric personalities have turned the genre into AM talk radio with pictures, we are constantly bombarded with self-righteous, mostly right-wing blowhards who's shit don't stink.

However, in this landscape of obnoxious helmet-haired empty suits who wrap themselves in the flag and tell us what to think, screaming head pundits who shout talking points at each other, ultra-moral finger-waggers who get outraged at everyone else's behavior and celebrity-obsessed dim bulbs, we have Keith Olbermann, who has carved out a niche as an iconoclast courting the equally-pissed off left. In addition to his occasional 'Special Comments,' which often rip into the Bush Administration in ways most media personalities are afraid to do, he also digs deeper into stories that other media outlets are either too scared or too lazy to. While he obviously despises celebrity gossip tales, he does the bare minimum glossing-over of them, though with a somewhat humorous snide undertone that screams "they're making me talk about this." And he speaks for many of us who often find ourselves giving the middle finger to pompous bastards like Bill O'Reilly. And he effectively uses humor, perhaps the sharpest of all verbal weapons, to accomplish this. He's also not above making fun of himself, something that can't be said about his more arrogant counterparts.

For that, and in this lousy cable news environment that we are limited to, that's good enough for me. I, for one, am glad Keith Olbermann is around to kick some O'Reilly ass, and expose him and his ilk for the frauds they are.

Bill O'Reilly: Not-so-pretty hate machine

Do I really have to write yet another article just to prove Bill O'Reilly is nuts?

Obviously, the many people who read this blog know the answer to that question. Okay, except for the seven or so people as of this writing that claimed in the poll here that they'll proudly vote for "some Republican dumbass" in the upcoming election. All of that aside, O'Falafel's show is shining and glowing proof that the right wing is guilty of just making shit up to prop up really moronic talking points. Sadly, there are probably way too many people that actually still fall for it.

Earlier this week, he featured progressive talker Ed Schultz on his show (video here). The topic was how the presidential candidates are handled on talk radio. Of course, Captain Constipated wanted to sidetrack that. The current target of his ire is Air America Radio, which obviously must be keeping him awake nights, because he mentioned them at least four times in the past week. He started at the top of the show:

...The mainstream media — print and TV — is largely liberal, so talk radio gives conservatives a voice, so to speak. Liberal radio networks like Air America have been disasters, with low ratings and even lower presentations.

O'Reilly doesn't mention, of course, that in many markets, his own radio show gets equal or lower ratings than Air America programs. That's even with the backing of big syndicator Westwood One.

Obviously, this so-called 'bankrupt, failed radio network' must be pushing the right buttons, since it's evidently replaced George Soros, Daily Kos, Media Matters for America and MoveOn at the top of O'Reilly's shit list. With the knowledge that Schultz and Air America don't get along very well, Falafel-for-brains saw this as an opportunity to use him to fight his own personal childish grudge, a typical O'Rambling tactic. Of course Schultz is too smart for this, and could care less about doing O'Reilly's bidding against his percieved enemies. O'Reilly wasted no time, it was the second question directed at Schultz, on a show that was supposed to be about the election:

O'REILLY: OK. Air America traffics in the personal attacks. That's what they did 24/7. It did not work. Did you learn from that? Were you appalled by what they did?

SCHULTZ: Well, you know, I've been in this racket since 1978. I've been around TV and radio for a long time. I've never based my career on how well I can attack somebody. I mean, we can be pretty creative when we decide we want to go after somebody. But I can't really say that I've learned anything from any particular network.

Of course I'm independent from them. I've got my own company and my own radio show that's independent, but I'm on a lot of their stations. Bill, I don't pay attention to other talk show hosts. I feel strong in my...

O'REILLY: The reason I asked that question is you said that your progressive listeners are getting fed up with the personal attacks. I hope that's true.

SCHULTZ: It is.

O'REILLY: But I'm hoping that maybe they saw what happened, because Air America did have an opportunity in this country, because as I said, most talk radio is right wing. They came on, in the beginning they were financed, they put on Franken and Garofalo, and all they did was lodge personal attacks after personal attack. It was monotonous. It wasn't funny. It was disgusting. And progressive people, obviously, didn't listen. Because if they did listen, it wouldn't have gone bankrupt, and they fled.

See what I mean?

I guess I should mention that later, in that same segment, Captain Phonesex refuted Edwards' claims that there are far too many veterans that are homeless. Yes, he claims that there is no such thing as homeless veterans. I'll be sure to mention that to the several I see along the streets holding signs that I frequently pass on the way to work. Obviously, he needs to tone down the tint on the back windows of the limousine he takes from Long Island to his workplace everyday. he's not living in the same world as us.

Another recent segment was about the USO, a long-time organization that organizes entertainment tours for the military overseas. It's a great group with a long history. But according to O'Reilly, they're 'under fire' because they allegedly took donations from MoveOn. Oh, the horror! Conventional wisdom in the media would dictate that he would feature a spokesperson from the USO and grill him/her about it. Well, this is Faux News, and there is no conventional wisdom. The featured guest is someone from a 527 group called Vets for Freedom. Uh huh. Some of O'Really's choice comments from the interview:

A few weeks ago, we told USO President Edward Powell that more celebrity visits to the troops were badly needed. Mr. Powell did not disagree. But now some USO board members are furious with Mr. Powell, because he took donations from the radical left organization MoveOn. You'll remember that organization took out this despicable "betray us" ad...But my question is this. If this organization, which we think is despicable, move on. We think that they're bad and nothing good about them.

...Radical left. Trying to undermine the military, no question, irresponsible.

Earlier this week, former FOX Noise goon and Bush-appointed mouthpiece Tony Snow went on "The Factor" to whine about the liberal pile-on while he appeared on "Real Time with Bill Maher" last Friday. Pot, meet kettle. Welcome to our world. Here's an excerpt:

...he was up against far-left loons on the panel and in the audience...

...Now I've seen people outnumbered, but nothing like Tony Snow was on that program (I guess he doesn't watch his own network, where he could easily see the flipside of that)...

...By the way, I will do the Bill Maher program, but only one on one with Maher, not sitting there with Mark Cuban and Catherine Crier and the other nut. Not going to happen. Now this incident just reinforces the bitterness and attack strategy of the far left.

Typical. In other words, O'Liely is afraid of getting into a situation where he doesn't control the guests. Never mind that Crier is a TV pundit just like him and the other guy is a political writer for Rolling Stone magazine. Cuban is a businessman and media executive, just like O'Puhleez's boss. O'Reilly's background is basically as a jerkoff who reads a teleprompter. What makes him more qualified to discuss politics than you or I or anyone else?

But back to the Snow pile-up. Did O'Reilly bring Snow on to talk about it? Of course not. Snow was on Captain Phonesex's radio show earlier. On "The Factor" that night, was yet another conservative pundit nobody's ever heard of:

...With us now to analyze is Mark Smith, author of the book "The Official Handbook of the Vast Right-Wing Conspiracy..."

...Well, we've been saying that — I don't know if it's against America. It's certainly against the war...

...The issue is off the table now because the elite media won't cover it anymore because things are going better. So now it's the economy. We see The New York Times everyday front page: recession, recession, recession has replaced bombing, bombing, bombing...

...the left now is fighting each other. They're tearing each other apart. Do you think that's getting through to Americans because you are seeing lively debate on the Republican side, but nothing like the vitriol on the Democratic side?

...And the malice, the level of malice on the far left is now rising. I mean, Air America was bad. They went bankrupt. But they took that mantel of malice. And now they're just riding it to the mainstream media. And I'm saying to myself, Americans don't like that...

As most media junkies know, FOX and MSNBC are at verbal war with each other. MSNBC is owned by General Electric, so naturally, GE, one of this country's largest defense contractors, is in cahoots with the terrorists. Of course, GE automatically became the bad guy not for some ridiculous degrees of separation between an American concern and supporters of terrorism and enemy nations. It was likely because of a humorous bit on "Countdown with Keith Olbermann' called 'Bill O’Reilly Puppet Theater,' which parodied the recent incident where O'Reilly tried to muscle through presidential candidate Barack Obama's security detail. O'Falafel evidently was not amused at the puppet show. Nobody from GE came on the program. Instead, one guest was from a right-wing think tank, and the other was from an obscure group called 9/11 Families for a Safe and Strong America:

...Syria also involved, you know, also on the list of the State Department. They do help terrorists in Syria. GE does a lot of business with them as well. So I don't know, man. It's just looking pretty bad here...Do you think GE's actually helping the Syrian government? Or is it just a private thing?

Not much really seems to amuse Mr. Pout. Here, O'Loony gives his take on the war positions of the presidential candidates:

...It's interesting because Ron Paul, a Republican congressman, and John Edwards, a Democrat, both saying basically the same thing, get the hell out of the Gulf. And Paul doesn't want any intrusion in Pakistan at all. And I'm sitting here going, am I crazy? Or would this heighten the danger for Americans like by a 1,000 percent?

...OK. Now you know that the American media per se, The New York Times, The Washington Post, the network news, CNN does not believe what you just said. Their point of view is, we illegally invaded Iraq.

...As you said, John Edwards is a loon. I think he'll be out soon...

One can also detect a pattern O'Reilly uses in his attacks. He often brings on surrogates (hence all the right-wing goons he features as guests) to do much of his bidding. Who better than the oft-nutty Melanie Morgan from KSFO in San Francisco?

MORGAN: Well, I will take it as far as to point out the fact that (Hillary Clinton) is a woman who would not be a good president for all the people. Why do I know that? Because she has personally attacked me through her surrogates and through her Media Matters, which she's claimed credit for starting. She is trying to get you fired. She is trying to get me fired.

O'REILLY: Is that right?

MORGAN: Yes, it's real personal for me.

O'REILLY: Well, everybody knows that Media Matters is a far-left smear machine. So if I were you, I would just ignore them. They've tried to get me fired every hour on the hour for 11-and-a-half years, Melanie.

MORGAN: Absolutely.

O'REILLY: They ain't going to do it unless my ratings go down. Then it won't be them — it'll be FOX that fires me, OK. So they have no — all they can do is dish out the vitriol. But I agree with you. I get angry about the lies and the distortion because there's nothing we can do about it because we're in the public eye.

(snip)

O'REILLY: Well, we know on talk radio in the last, I don't know, five years with the advent of Air America, there's never been a more vicious network. You have right-wing kooks out there as well. You know who they are.

MORGAN: In comparison to the left-wing kooks, they are small in comparison.

O'REILLY: Yes, but there's one that is really out there. I mean, you know, not going to give the guy any publicity, but I mean, you know, it's hard to measure hatred on the level that these people bring to the table.

And all of this was just this week. I could go on and on, like how he compared actor/activist Tim Robbins to a Nazi officer. Or that time he claimed reporter Helen Thomas "is consistently anti-American in her point of view." Oh yeah, and then there was that time that he equated “reading far-left websites with devil-worship”, and that the Daily Kos, a longtime target of his ire, is run by Satan Himself.

Suffice it to say, Bill O'Reilly is full of shit. A far-right rabble rouser who spouts hateful and insulting rhetoric complaining about how the other side spews hateful and insulting rhetoric. My opinion is that FOX Noise, in general, is for people too lazy, too busy or too stupid to comprehend the news in general, and need someone to do the thinking for them.

And perhaps Bill O'Really should concentrate less on building his ego and building his humility and self-esteem and admit that he is indeed a hypocrite. All it takes is a good look in the mirror.

Yeah, that's a start.

Mob of angry Republicans chase Hannity through streets, chant "FOX News sucks!"

I just can't make this stuff up!

Ron Paul supporters really hate FOX Noise. Here, they let Sean Hannity know how they feel.

As much as I'd like to add a rather sarcastic and witty comment to this, I... just... can't. Just watch the video.

In case this video gets pulled, like the last one, check here.

The right-wing crash and burn

If the news-heavy week that was is any indication, it shows that right-wing media pundits are really starting to sweat. So much that they're losing both their credibility and what's left of their minds.

Last week's Iowa Caucus was the backdrop for much of this. The overall positive media buzz was on the Democratic Party, and the sensational turnout for their top three candidates. The U.S. Senator from Illinois Barack Obama is the one getting the most buzz, with many pointing out the large influx of young people and new voters. Hillary Clinton got most of the scorn after finishing a close third, and John Edwards, with only a small fraction of the money Obama and Clinton had, finished a respectable second with his populist message, though the media seems to be pretending he doesn't exist. Our media trying to play kingmaker? Whodathunk?

But that's a different tale for a different time. Over on the GOP side, at this point, if you ain't Mike Huckabee (or John McCain for that matter) you ain't shit. That goes for Mitt Romney and all the millions of dollars he's scattered to the winds in Iowa, most likely spending a huge chunk on Dapper Dan hair grease. That also goes for sleepy Fred Thompson. And President of 9/11 Rudy Giuliani, who's made a mint walking over the corpses of the thousands of people who died in that terrorist attack, is practically worm food himself after finishing just above ultimate nobody Duncan Hunter. And what about libertarian maverick Ron Paul? He finished well above Ghouliani.

Paul's success in finishing nearly toe-to-toe with the 'other white meat' throws an interesting monkey wrench of sorts into the whole race. While his competitors are fighting for leftover scraps and remnants of the fizzled neocon movement loved so much by our current commander-in-thief, Paul is a stone cold reminder of what the GOP once was. He's a conservative in the Barry Goldwater mode, a throwback to less government, lower taxes for working people and protection of the Constitution. Sounds about as conservative as one can get.

Paul is campaigning against many of the major neocon excesses of the past seven years, including the Iraq War, the War on Drugs and the Patriot Act. He would have been called a conservative 30-40 years ago, but now he's classified as a Libertarian. While his support of the whole 'free market rules everything' idea that has caused many of the problems we currently face would keep me far, far away from throwing my support behind his camp, I do respect his being in the race, as he provides a startling reality check for the GOP, the right-wing media and the other candidates. He's also been pulling in far more donor money that the other guys, who actually have to spend mostly out of their own pockets. And that's why they all hate him so much. How much? FOX 'News' channel won't even let him participate in their televised debate scheduled for Sunday. Never mind that their golden boy Giuliani, who got crushed by Paul in Iowa, is invited, or that the televised debate last night on ABC welcomed him with open arms. FOX Nuisance would rather he didn't exist. Of course, the exclusion has brought a serious backlash from Paul supporters and Republicans alike. They're pissed! The New Hampshire Republican party even withdrew support for the debate over this. Right-wing media entities like FOX News are obviously intimidated by Paul, who exposes the neocon house of cards FOX has helped prop up for the sham that it is, in the most honest way possible, and I most certainly respect him for that.

Overall, this has been a pretty harsh week for FOX Noise. News sources revealed that their much-ballyhooed FOX Business Channel is a flop, garnering a piddling 6,300 viewers during the day and 15,000 in prime time over the past few months, compared to rival CNBC's average of 283,000 viewers. Shit, even Air America has way more listeners than that! And the winner of the Iowa Republican Caucus was a guy neocon stalwarts like Rush Limbaugh, Ann Coulter and Club For Growth can't stand (Huckabee), though it's not like their slate is highly desirable anyway. And head honcho Rupert Murdoch's preferred Democratic candidate, Clinton, ain't doing too hot either.

Perhaps that's why right-wing goons like Bungling Bill O'Reilly are imploding right before our very eyes. According to Chicago Sun-Times reporter Lynn Sweet, following Obama's victory last Thursday night, O'Reilly got into a confrontation with an Obama aide after he started screaming at him while trying to strong-arm his way through the dense crowd in an attempt to get Obama's attention.

O'Reilly tried to rough up Obama's National Trip Director Marvin Nicholson, as he yelled at him to "move," so as to get Obama's attention. O'Reilly yelled in Nicholson's face, grabbed his arm and shoved him, according to eyewitnesses. The 6'8" Nicholson also said O'Reilly called him "low class."

"He grabbed me with both his hands here," Nicholson said, gesturing to his left arm and O'Reilly "started shoving me." Nicholson said, " He was pretty upset. He was yelling at me."

Nicholson also claimed, "After he shoved me and after he stopped yelling at me, I went… I just went over and asked, I said, sir, I’d really appreciate it if you didn’t shove me anymore."

Secret Service agents who were nearby flanked O 'Reilly after he pushed Nicholson. They told O'Reilly he needed to calm down and get behind the fence-like barricade that contained the press. As they hauled O'Reilly away, he could be heard screaming "Don't tase me bro!" Okay, just kidding about that one. Nonetheless, in an unsurprising move, O'Reilly did play the victim card. As Gomer Pyle Huckabee would likely exclaim, "Surprise, surprise..."

O'Reilly later imperiously justified his breach of security by declaring, "We're sorry we had to have that little confrontation, but no one on this earth is going to block a shot on "The O'Reilly Factor." It is not going to happen," O'Reilly said, according to the Associated Press. Evidently, O'Reilly doesn't have much respect for the Secret Service and the tough job that they do.

Obama was preoccupied and did not see any of this brewhaha, though he did eventually talk with O'Reilly for a few seconds. The encounter was described as cordial. At least Obama has some class.

Evidently, the presidential outlook for the GOP this year must be wearing down hard on the right-wing media. Could this explain the utterly strange behavior of radio and TV host Glenn Beck earlier this week? Granted, Beck's health woes and the goings-on of the presidential horse race are for the most part unconnected, but many wonder if Beck has finally lost what's left of his mind. As the nation's focus was on Iowa, Beck decided for some bizarre reason to channel Rosie O'Donnell by publicly releasing a rambling video of him from his own bed, talking about his recent botched surgery (of which exactly he didn't divulge), railing against the hospital where he was treated, comparing his own plight with that of the soldiers at rat-infested Walter Reed Hospital and how the mistrreatment and lack of compassion from hospital staff made him almost "full fledged suicidal." Vincent D'Onofrio pulled this act off better in that infamous bathroom scene from Full Metal Jacket.

Beck is obviously trying to garner sympathy for his personal plight, though it is highly ironic given that this so-called libertarian endlessly spouts Republican talking points and talks about his desire to kill (yes, KILL) people he doesn't agree with, such as documentarian Michael Moore, who ironically made Sicko, a well-received documentary last year about (surprise) the flaws of the U.S. health care system. Yes, the same health care system that bore the brunt of Beck's rambling wrath. The irony's thick enough to slice with a chainsaw. Perhaps Beck has finally shrugged, thrown up his arms and returned to his much-loved vices of booze and coke as a crude way to effectively self-medicate. Regardless, it's tough even for a compassionate liberal to garner up much sympathy for this whiny, hypocritical mean-spirited mess of a man. As the old saying goes, those who choose to live by the sword will likely die by it.

Popcorn, anyone?

Announcing... the 2007 LTR Turkey of the Year

Mention the word 'Thanksgiving' to anyone and various responses will come up. Whether the first thing to enter one's head may be Pilgrims, family get-togethers, the Macy's Parade, football, early morning sales on "Black Friday," or even that disgustingly funny faux movie trailer in Grindhouse, the first thought that likely comes up is turkey. It's all about the turkey.

In honor of that spirit, this entry will be about a different type of turkey. Namely, the biggest buffoon covered by LTR in the past year or so. And with it the presentation of a not-so prestigious honor, the first annual "Turkey of the Year."

Of course, criteria had to be laid out for the first ever presentation of this prize. The Turkey nominating committee felt that consideration be limited only to those who were written about on this very space over the past year or so. Readers will recognize the usual suspects, and be surprised at others. But in formulating a list of finalists, and the inevitable winner, the nominating committee scoured a year's worth of blog entries, in the ultimate online turkey hunt.

So without further ado, here are the nominees...

Chad Castagana. Okay, who is Chad Castagana? He's a 39-year old nut from California who took it upon himself last November to fight the war of terror by mailing letters laced with white powder to current House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, David Letterman, Keith Olbermann, Jon Stewart and others. Of course, the white substance turned out not to be Anthrax, but rather powdered soap.The FBI's Joint Terrorism Task Force tracked him down, arrested and later indicted him on fourteen counts of sending false threats via the U.S. Mail.

Of note is that while sending out the nastygrams, he also purchased a $15 money order, made out to "Friends of Katherine Harris." Castagana lived with his 78-year old mother, is a sci-fi geek, worshipped Ann Coulter and Michelle Malkin, rarely interacted with neighbors, and had an dirty old van parked in the driveway with the phrase "death to all liberals" scrawled in the grime of the back window. Ironically, or not surprisingly, he had no driver's licence to legally drive his dirty old van. Oh, and he was a freeper, too, and he even posted about the mailings on the site, even having the chutzpah to mock MSNBC's reaction to the nastygram sent to Olbermann. And they call us unhinged. Sheesh! Currently, Castagana is out on $350,000 bail and awaiting trial, and is also prohibited from using the U.S. Mail for anything.

Bruce Tinsley. Ever wonder why the right-wing comic strip "Mallard Fillmore" just isn't very funny? Well, you try writing gags when you're plastered off your ass! Tinsley, the creator of the strip, was arrested in Columbus, Indiana last December and charged with drunk driving, his second alcohol-related arrest in less than four months. He had a blood-alcohol level of 0.14, almost twice the legal limit. Ironically, he once published a strip where he claimed that, in order to avoid a DUI ticket, a driver could pretend to be related to Ted Kennedy. So not only does he suck as cartooning, he's not very good at dispensing legal advice.

KSFO. The nasty right-wing hosts of this hardcore right-wing radio station in San Francisco have never had a problem slinging shit toward their 'enemies.' Hosts such as Melanie Morgan, Lee Rogers, Tom Brenner and Brian Sussman often spew Klan-style racist rhetoric, bash muslims, and endlessly tear into liberals. Well, a Bay Area blogger named Spocko decided to take them on, posting audio clips and transcripts of the hosts programs online and sparking a letter-writing campaign directed at some of the station's highest-profile advertisers. The on-air hosts went even more nuts than they were already, with Morgan firing off an email to over a million conservatives as the hosts began harassing Spocko on-air. Ironically, this is the same Melanie Morgan who in 2004 tried to lean on movie theater owners in an effort to ban Michael Moore's Fahrenheit 9/11. The station's owner, ABC/Disney, also fought back, sending a cease-and-desist order to Spocko and his ISP over posting the transcripts and files. The ISP, fearful of legal action by the Mouse That Roared, shut him down, but the audio files circulated around the web and Spocko found another ISP. The gang at Disney and KSFO are the most hypocritical of turkeys, and evidently never learned that people who live by the sword are likely to fall victim to it.

Disney. And here's a two-fer. I'll give the owners of ABC a slide over that "Air America Blacklist" thing, since that turned out to be about nothing. But they don't get off so easy for that ridiculous Path to 9/11 flick that nobody watched. And for hiring racist wacky radio guy Glenn Beck for a commentary position on Good Morning America. So, what position was this Muslim-bashing moron hired for? Yep, you guessed it - cultural commentator. They also get chided for programming next to no liberal talk on any of their radio stations (recently taken over by Citadel), save for top-rated KGO in San Francisco and a few weekend slots on some of their other stations.

Jon Elliott. He may never live this down, but perhaps this will teach him not to jump to conclusions and claim a freak accident that happened to one of his coworkers as a 'hate crime.' On the flipside...

Crybaby conservative bloggers. When Randi Rhodes had her freak accident last month, Elliott inadvertently blamed it on an attack by some crazed right-winger. Meanwhile the whiny right were shocked, feeling that their ilk is capable of walking on water and could do no wrong. They felt they were the victim of a brutal attack. When it was all founded to be untrue, they demanded apologies, as if they ever gave a shit about Rhodes in the first place. Hold on, let me call the whaaaambulance first. Here's three words for the Bozells, Malkins, Maloneys, et. al. of the world: Get a grip.

Me. I'll reserve a spot at the turkey table for myself, Baroosk at Talking Radio, ZappoDave at Daily Kos Bonescrat at Democratic Underground and everyone else that forwarded the Randi Rumor. Yeah, we screwed up on that one. And unlike the crazy conservatives, I can admit when I'm wrong.

Don Imus. 2007 was a pretty crappy year for the craggy morning radio talker. One could almost blame his handlers at CBS for encouraging him to be more controversial. But his inert nastiness is what eventually did him in, resulting in the end of his big TV deal at MSNBC, his lucrative roster of sponsors, his syndicated network and eventually his job. Now he has to rebuild everything from scratch. How rough is it? His new TV deal is with something called RFD-TV, a farm-oriented channel nobody has ever heard of and one that obviously does not have much penetration in the mostly urban east coast markets that are his stronghold.

Entercom. Clear Channel often gets a bad rap when it comes to dropping progressive talk from their stations, but Entercom, a company that heavily donates almost exclusively to Democrats, has dropped the format from all but two of their stations. This year, they flipped their New Orleans station to a time shifted refeed of WWL, a station that already simulcasts on both a 50,000 watt AM and a big signaled FM, and stations in Sacramento and Memphis to sports. Only Buffalo and Rochester remain.

Mark Green. Last spring, Manhattan real estate mogul Stephen Green rode to the rescue and purchased Air America Radio out of bankruptcy. Opting to take a hands-off role, he installed his brother, New York politician Mark Green as president. While Green has injected some life into the network, some of the network's moves have alienated their devoted listeners. The hiring of Lionel was a shot at gaining legitimacy in the radio industry, and for that, it made sense on paper. In the process, though, they treated the much-loved Sam Seder like garbage, banishing him to Sunday afternoons before sheepishly appointing him as the network's chief blogger. Mark Maron vowed never to work for Air America again, but has softened on that stance as of late. Others, such as the devoted Mark Riley were eventually cast aside altogether.

While the network obviously strove toward much-needed industry credibility, the new shows added to the schedule didn't elicit much enthusiasm. The Air Americans was a four-hour weeknight juggernaut with no direction or planning, no chance of being picked up by any affiliate, and lasted only a few short pointless months. Weekends saw strange niche shows about vegetarianism and atheism that garnered guffaws from the media. And of course, Green got his own show. Since taking over, the network has become a little too green, pun intended. Reportedly, upon the much-ballyhooed 'relaunch' of Air America last spring, Green was so pissed off about the sluggish response to Lionel's arrival that he took many of the heavily-hyped VIP interviews for himself, which resulted in some hosts' shows being interrupted for taped interviews conducted by Green, who obviously was trying to leave his mark on the network in rather strange ways. Talk about a trainwreck!

Richard Greene. Sure, he seems like a nice guy, and he's certainly a polished professional. But he seems a bit out of his element hosting Clout, a nighttime show on Air America. Particularly since the only bumper music he ever plays is "Every Breath You Take" by The Police. Over and over again. For this, he definitely deserves to be considered for "Turkey of the Year."

Steve Graham. This Pittsburgh, Kansas native gave us all a look at who really listens to right-wing talk radio. For the past seven years, Graham, 55, has been living in his car parked in the backyard of a house he and his wife, La Donna Graham, own. His irritated neighbors complain that Graham plays loud music, often spouts obsenity-laced tirades and uses his yard as a toilet. Graham's got a home-like setup in his blue 1989 Buick Century, equipped with a 13" TV, an oscillating fan and a portable radio, with an extension cord running to the house. The radio especially works well. "I get better reception there than I do in there," he said, pointing at the house. "I listen to Rush (Limbaugh) every day, just about."

The so-called Cable News Networks. An unpopular war is being fought in Iraq. The dollar is sinking like a cinder block. Oil is almost $100 a barrel. The housing market has collapsed. Chinese-made toys are poisoning our children. The Arctic is melting. The White House is lying. With all that is going on in the world, it would be somewhat of a stretch to call CNN, FOX Noise and MSNBC 'news' channels, since more airtime was seemingly devoted to Anna Nicole Smith's death, Paris Hilton's jail time, Britney Spears' trainwreck of a life and scores of that cable news staple - missing blondes than to much more deserving and important stories. And speaking of fluff news...

Ben Mankiewicz. Until a few months ago, Ben Mankiewicz served as Cenk Uyger's sidekick on Air America's The Young Turks. He currently has a classy gig hosting weekends on television's Turner Classic Movies channel. The Mankiewicz name is legendary in Hollywood and in the media. Grandfather Herman wrote the classic Citizen Kane. His great uncle Joseph was an Oscar-winning writer and director. Cousin Tom wrote quite a few James Bond flicks and was a go-to script doctor for many years. His father Frank was Robert F. Kennedy's press secretary. Brother Josh is an NBC News reporter. So with all of this going for him, why the hell is he currently slumming as a gossip monger on the icky TMZ TV show? Certainly he's better than this?

Brian Maloney. Yeah, you were waiting for this one, right? Yes, the Radio Tranquilizer will likely be a presence on a list o' turkeys for a long time coming. The question is, how does one narrow the antics of this walking trainwreck down to one offense against thinking people? Could it be that over the past year he's been completely neutered, selling out what little soul he had in order to settle in as semi-official ass-kisser to Rush Limbaugh, Bill O'Reilly and Sean Hannity? Or could it be that in almost all of his entries he goes on nasty, insane tirades about how nasty and insane liberals are? Well, just this morning, I noticed his latest entry, where he claims that liberals are waging a war against Thanksgiving. I think that's good enough reason for his inclusion here. That, and his blog is basically the equivalent of ten pounds of elephant shit in a five pound bag. Too bad he's not the Turkey of the Year. There were much fatter fowl this year.

With all the choices presented, the task of naming a Turkey of the Year was rather tough. The field was narrowed down to three finalists:

3. Clear Channel middle management. This one was too obvious. The San Antonio-based conglomerate has been trying to atone for their many crimes of years past, which rightly proved them to be a hardcore Republican outfit seeking to make radio even blander with cookie-cutter formats, programming on the cheap, overly partisan talk radio and a loss of local appeal in many of their markets. In recent years, they've tried to clean up their act, as they received some of the worst P.R. in the history of broadcasting, becoming a poster child for all that's wrong with big media.

In their defense, they've been trying to clean up their act. They've become more attentive in their local markets. And they also shook up their talk radio formats a bit, surprisingly flipping a few of their weaker AM stations to the progressive talk format. Unfortunately, this little bit of goodwill gave them a black eye when some of their management clusters began dropping the format, often in the sloppiest of ways.

While format decisions usually do not come from San Antonio, they are often delegated to regional managers. One regional manager ordered the format removed from stations in Madison, Columbus, Cincinnati, and Akron. A mass outcry and local staff revolt kept the format on WXXM in Madison, but in the other three markets, the stations flipped formats, and all three currently have only a small fraction of the listeners they had when they carried the format. WSAI in Cincinnati has already changed formats a second time since then.

And the regional manager who oversees San Diego ordered KLSD, which has seen both ratings and revenue success (some rumors claim $1.5 million annually) to become the market's third sports station. Company-owned stations in Boston, New Haven, All format flips were met with a large outcry, rallies, petitions and disdain, pissing away a large amount of goodwill that Clear Channel had accrued in the past few years.

2. John Simson. You may be asking yourself, who is John Simson? He's enough of a total turkey to have been oh-so-close to taking the top spot. This failed singer/songwriter-turned empty suit is currently the head of SoundExchange, an organization charged with collecting performance fees for the Recording Industry Association of America that supposedly are paid out to the artists who create the music. At least in theory. One would guess that more of this money goes into the gas tank of Simson's Mercedes than in the hands of the recording artists. And with gas prices on the rise, no wonder Simson and his music mafia goons tried to shake down internet radio. Earlier this year, SoundExchange threatened to impose a ridiculous royalty fee for webcasters, one that would be feasible only for the likes of Yahoo! and Microsoft. It would put smaller independent webcasters like Radio Paradise and Soma.FM out of business. And shut down unique services such as Pandora and AccuRadio. Hobby webcasters, who saw webcasting as a way to let their voices be heard without the massive expense of a terrestrial radio signal, would find the door slammed shut in their faces. To put it in layman's terms, establishing a webcast outlet that plays music is easier to launch than one that doesn't. In short, he tried to strong-arm one of the remaining hopes of independent broadcast media.

The recording industry has adapted poorly to the internet era. And they're so panicked by that realization that their attempts to fit in have been rather crass. Whether it be shutting down webcasting, screwing their artists, suing 85-year olds for allegedly downloading 2Pac songs off Kazaa and for passing off mindless junk like the Pussycat Dolls as 'music,' the RIAA has taken all the fun out of the medium. They claim that people who pay $12 bucks for a 14-song CD with only 3 or 4 good ones is not buying a CD, but merely purchasing the right to listen to it. No wonder why high-profile artists like Radiohead and Trent Reznor decided to skip the music cartel altogether and take their latest works directly to the fans via their websites.

Well, this little extortion scam backfired, as Simson and company eventually backed off his fiery rhetoric, particularly since Congress threatened to intervene. Now, they're shifting their war to terrestrial broadcasters, as they shake down the Clear Channels of the world for gas money. Ironic in that it's usually the record labels who bribe station programmers with money, prizes, vacations, hookers, blow, etc. to play their latest piece of shit release.

Now, I'm not saying the artists and the labels who distribute them should go pound sand. They have a right to be compensated for their work. But not at the expense of insulting and pissing off their fans. They simply need to stop looking at their customers as 'the enemy.' And they need to stop trying to shoot themselves in the foot.

And finally, the moment you've all been waiting for. The one entity who symbolizes everything that a turkey should be. The 2007 Turkey of the Year is...

FOX 'News' Channel. Who else? Let us count the ways...

1. Following the Congressional election last November, which saw Democrats winning huge, FOX Noise's VP of news (if such a thing as 'news' exists there) sent an internal memo to staffers and reporters, telling them how to do their job the right way. Included were instructions to hype how terrorists must be thrilled with the prospect of a Democrat-controlled Congress. Gee, no wonder why they began seeking out a "freelance fact writer" (sic) a few weeks later. In an unrelated incident around the same time, the network paid a $2 million ransom to free two of their reporters from a Palestinian terrorist group, which likely used the money to buy more weapons and "to hit the Zionists." And yes, paying ransom money to terrorist organizations is illegal U.S. anti-terrorist legislation.

2. As right-wingers were obviously jealous over the success of the satirical news shows from Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert on Comedy Central, FOX Nuisance decided the time was right to create their own 'fair and balanced' version. They hunted high and low for a right-wing producer and found one in Joel Surnow, creator of the hit FOX comedy 24, and Rush Limbaugh's Dominican Republic cruising buddy. After months of planning, casting and a horrifying pilot that envisioned Rush Limbaugh and Ann Coulter as President and Vice President, the 1/2Hour News Hour debuted on a Sunday night in February. Reviews were brutal for this laughless 'comedy' show. Still, FOX persevered, and produced enough episodes for an extended run, initially pulling in a few more viewers than their typical Sunday night fare, proving that they could actually find a hundred thousand people who will laugh at any joke that has the word "Hillary" in it. But ratings sank like a rock when the already stale jokes got even more so, and the network realized that Geraldo reruns were cheaper to produce and got roughly the same result. This turkey was was sent to the chopping block last August.

3. Fox Nuisance needed that 'fact writer' more than ever after some ridiculous sleight of hand on some of their on-screen graphics that, among other things, labeled disgraced Republicans such as Mark Foley as 'Democrats," and claimed Scooter Libby as 'not guilty.' Ironically, these exploits proved to be funnier than the ill-fated comedy show.

4. It seems that FOX News, while pandering hard to Bible-banging conservatives, works hard at attracting viewers the old fashioned way, with ample amounts of T & A, in essence becoming the news channel for sexually frustrated Republicans. Which would mean all of them. And they attack our morality. Sheesh!

5. Not content with whitewashing the so-called 'news' content on television, they were caught red-handed creating their own little fantasy world via Wikipedia. And if that doesn't work (and it didn't), they could always sic their own pit bulls on their alleged 'enemies.' Just so long as it isn't Geraldo Rivera.

6. There's also that ridiculous "War on Christmas" thing.

7. For all their antics, it was no surprise that the Democratic Party decided to finally give FOX the middle finger and cancel a presidential candidate debate that was scheduled to air last summer.

So, for Roger Ailes, Bill O'Reilly, Sean Hannity, John Gibson and the usual gang of idiots, you all get top honors this year. Yes, for all you do, this Turkey's for you! FOX 'News' Channel, the 2007 Turkey of the Year.

No deal between MSNBC and Rosie (Whew! That was close!)

The other day, I wrote about MSNBC and their talks with Rosie O'Donnell, about the possibility of adding her show to air after Keith Olbermann. Well, those flirtations didn't last long. It appears MSNBC backed out of the deal.

Some rumors claim that money was the dealbreaker, or that O'Donnell would not commit for more than one year. MSNBC wanted a long-term commitment. Still, one might speculate that possible media blowback from the negotiation rumors could have played a part.

On a blog post on her site, she claims that her "career as a pundit is over b4 it began." It was almost a done deal, but she attributes the collapse of the deal to comments she made publicly about it at a Miami book fair over the weekend. Obviously, spilling the beans didn't sit too cool with MSNBC brass. It appears they nixed the deal once and for all.

Why would they entertain signing her for her own news show? Well, she gets ratings. Believe it or not, The View did very well during her short stint, and fell off after she left. Plus, with the Writers Guild strike crippling the late night talk show landscape, NBC/Universal evidently needed a strike-proof Plan B. That's really the only possible explanation.

The killing of the deal is likely sad news for a possible rival, Bill O'Reilly of FOX Noise. His reaction to the possible signing? "Oh, it's on!" The constipated one started his show the other night exclaiming, "Huntley, Brinkley, Chancellor, Brokaw...and now, Rosie" under the headline "Far Left Merger." In other O'Reillyisms, he decried how NBC had "embraced the radical left agenda in pursuit of ratings" and adding his own suggested contributors ("It is not true that Sean Penn will be co-anchoring the NBC Nightly News...It is also not true that Hugo Chavez will become their chief foreign correspondent." Ho hum.

The irony is that O'Reilly was so delusional that he was trying to make as if she would be competing head-to-head with him. Ehh... not so fast, Bill-O. Your competitor is still and will always likely be Keith Olbermann. You know, the one who's name will not pass your lips? Who actually stands a legitimate chance of kicking your ass once and for all by this time next year? Yeah, that guy. But he's much more obsessed with Rosie, so in his weird little world, he's more comfortable bullying women than men.

But now we can all breathe a sigh of relief that it won't come to be. Or at least I can. And now, I can offer up my own personal opinion on the matter, which I neglected to do the other day.

Let's face it, O'Donnell would have been a terrible fit for MSNBC. Or any self-described news channel. She's a walking, talking train wreck, who seems to be more about making news herself than covering or talking about it. Her bombastic style is love-it-or-hate-it. She makes too much news herself, since the mainstream media is obsessed with the off-kilter antics of Hollywood celebrities. That's why we hear so much about Paris Hilton's criminal record and Britney Spears' divorce. And I certainly don't think either of them deserve news commentary shows on MSNBC.

We may have a few things in common politically, but I've never liked Rosie O'Donnell. Going back to her days on VH-1 in the early 90's, I thought she was one of the most obnoxious people I've ever seen on television. For a comedian, I never thought she was funny. Just irritating. I turned the channel whenever she came on. She went on to do movies that I made sure not to watch. Then there was that daytime talk show, but I don't watch daytime TV. And then The View, which I avoided like the plague anyway. If I want to watch people scream at each other, Jerry Springer is a more entertaining choice.

All in all, despite her outspoken political views, she would make a poor pundit. Sure, MSNBC would get a ton of press out of the deal. She gets that reaction out of the media. And I'm sure that's why the network teased the possibility of an O'Donnell deal, without really committing to it. But news commentators should talk about the news, not be the news. And giving her a show would absolutely kill their credibility.

There's talk about seeking out another pundit to host a show in that time slot. Some, such as Cenk Uygur of Air America's The Young Turks have their own suggestions. He offers up Air America hosts such as Rachel Maddow, who already does some work for MSNBC and would actually be a good move if MSNBC were to take a left turn, and even NBC's David Shuster, who actually would be a strong choice.

Currently, Dan Abrams' show seems to be a temporary thing, and while it is good, is not effectively holding on to the audience of red-hot lead-in Olbermann. Joe Scarborough couldn't do it before him either. And the rest of MSNBC's nightly lineup consists of prison documentaries and pedophile snaring.

But enough of the screaming pundit approach. That's played out, and it's bad enough that a channel called 'Headline News' airs Glenn Beck marathons all weekend. I have a novel solution to their quandry. How about a show featuring real news? You know, like CNN did when Ted Turner ran the joint. Or like we still see on BBC News, Nightline, the News Hour on PBS, occasionally on Anderson Cooper's CNN show, and other places? Likely, Olbermann can attribute his success to covering news stories not shown on other outlets. When has FOX Noise ever done an actual story on waterboarding? We're not talking about two pundits screaming at each other over it, we're talking about covering it as an actual story. MSNBC could tread where most cable outlets don't seem to go anymore, and most certainly not in the 9-10P ET hour with Larry King on CNN and Asshat and Doormat on FAUX. Sure, NBC might not have the global news coverage muscle that CNN and FOX have, but those guys squander it anyway, and MSNBC has more than enough to work with.

Some might say that doing real news is a ratings killer, that more people tune in to catch the latest exploits of Paris, Britney and Dog the Bounty Hunter. But the news channels need to constantly come up with new ideas. Because people will eventually tire of the TMZ approach to news, and with an important election on the horizon, and the growing woes of rising oil prices, environmental issues, international strife, shoddy health care, and a Congress that spends more time bickering with each other than getting shit done, people are going to want to find out what exactly is going on in the world. The exploits of Britney Spears, and even Rosie O'Donnell, will be the least of our concerns.