Hannity, Colmes break up; Yoko not blamed

Politico.com is reporting this afternoon that Fox News has announced that Alan Colmes will be leaving that network's "Asshat & Doormat" "Hannity & Colmes" after 12 years. He will depart effective at the end of this year.

“I approached Bill Shine (FNC’s Senior Vice President of Programming) earlier this year about wanting to move on after 12 years to develop new and challenging ways to contribute to the growth of the network," Colmes said in a statement. "Besides, I'm sick of playing the bitch." Okay, I made that last part up.

Colmes continued, "Although it’s bittersweet to leave one of the longest marriages on cable news, I’m proud that both Sean (Hannity) and I remained unharmed after sitting side by side, night after night for so many years.”

Sean Hannity said Colmes was "a remarkable co-host," "great friend," and "skillful debate partner. He was fun to yell over. The only thing I really didn't like about him is that he made me look much shorter and much less intelligent than I really am.”

(NOTE TO READERS: Forgive me, artistic licence took over and posessed me to have a little fun with this).

Colmes will remain a Fox commentator, and continue hosting "The Alan Colmes Show" on Fox News Radio. Also, he's developing a weekend show. He's not going too far - he knows where Hannity buried the bodies.

Hannity, meanwhile, will likely continue on as host of the revamped show, to be titled "Hannity and Hannity," in which the obnoxious, uber-patriotic host will carry on long discussions with himself in a rather large, empty studio. Every few minutes will feature him patting himself on the shoulder and telling himself how great an American he really is.

Okay, I made that part up too. Please forgive me.