Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Wanda Sykes makes 'em cry

Gee, it seems so long since we've had a ridiculous media obsession germinating from the thick, grimy logic swamps known as the right-wing blogosphere. Sure enough, we have one now. And quite frankly, it's as ridiculous as one could possibly imagine.

And like most incidents of 'mockrage' (meaning 'mock outrage' - neat new word, huh?), this one will likely be forgotten in a few days.

Now, allow me to stir the pot and get this thing started with a joke:

Q: What's the difference between Rush Limbaugh and the Hindenburg?
A: One's a flaming Nazi gasbag, the other's just a balloon.

Okay, now come on feel the mockrage! Certainly comedian Wanda Sykes is feeling it from some rather thin-skinned people who appear to be experts at dishing it out, yet lousy at being the butt of jokes.

This past weekend was the White House Correspondents Association Dinner, an annual light-hearted affair more akin to a PG-rated celebrity roast than a stuffy cocktail party. Invitees (primarily from the news media) are traditionally allowed to invite others, most typically celebrities. And in keeping with the lightness of the proceedings, a comedian usually steps up to the podium. A few years ago, you may remember Stephen Colbert ruffling Bush's feathers. Another recent host was Cedric The Entertainer, known for his hilarious but tasteless "fuck Jesse Jackson" rant in the movie "Barbershop".

Ms. Sykes was this year's controversial Dinner speaker du jour. And she let it rip. Bush, Dick Cheney, Sarah Palin, Michael Steele (perhaps the most ridiculous RNC chairman in history) and others were not spared by her verbal jabs, which to many ears were witty but not altogether vulgar or shocking. Surprisingly, it was somewhat tame.
(Here's the video).

But does it really matter to a bunch of sniveling right-wingers with talons engaged, ready to pounce on any piddly shit thing that offends them? Hell, they'll make mountains out of those molehills, by golly! Sure enough, they have. They're going apeshit, appalled at supposed attacks on their false idols. And it's yet one more reason to ignore this sniveling bunch of crybabies.

Seriously, what is offensive and what isn't to these people? Let's compare and contrast. Here's what Sykes said about Dick Cheney on Saturday night:

"Oh my god, that’s a scary man. Scares me to death. I tell my kids if two cars pull up, and one has a stranger, and the other car has Dick Cheney, you get in the car with the stranger."

Contrast that with, say, a recent comment from CBS golf analyst David Feherty, who said this about our Democratic congressional leaders:

"...if you gave any U.S. soldier a gun with two bullets in it, and he found himself in an elevator with Nancy Pelosi, Harry Reid and Osama bin Laden, there’s a good chance that Nancy Pelosi would get shot twice, and Harry Reid and bin Laden would be strangled to death."

Guess which remark is most likely to get the righties all riled up? Certainly not the one from Feherty. They probably agree with that one. And last I checked, Feherty still does golf for CBS.

Okay, so a comedian rips Bush and Cheney. Ehh, old news. 'Typical unhinged moonbat hatred,' the outraged sneer and whine. But you just know that they were ready to pounce once she started dissin' Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity and the other current 'great white dopes' of the mouth-breathing wingnut movement. Well, then the fur starts to really fly.

Here is Ms. Sykes, on 'The Turd of Absurd', a.k.a. Limbaugh:

"...Rush Limbaugh said he hopes this administration fails. That’s like saying, ‘I hope America fails.’ Or that ‘I dont care if people are losing their homes, their jobs, our soldiers in Iraq.’ He just wants the country to fail. To me, that’s treason. He’s not saying anything differently than what Osama Bin Laden is saying. (turning to Obama) You might want to look into this, sir. Because I think maybe he was the 20th hijacker. But he was just so strung out on Oxycontin that he missed his flight.

(crowd gasps)

“Too much? But you’re laughing on the inside…

She continues:

"...Rush Limbaugh [says] 'I hope the country fails.' I hope his kidneys fail. How about that? He needs some waterboarding, that’s what he needs."

On Hannity:

"Let Keith Olbermann waterboard him. He can”t take a waterboarding. I can break Sean Hannity just by giving him a middle seat in coach."

Not surprisingly, the tighty-righties - those masters of 'political correctness', mockrage, hypocrisy and outright thin-skinnedness, are pissed! Pat Buchanan, the world's most depressing role model, said Sykes' jokes will "hurt" the public impression of the dinner event (as if Bush's "can't find the WMDs" bit and "Rappin' Rove" didn't). The Washington Times' Amana Carpenter, who is employed by a destructive religious cult with its tentacles wrapped around the GOP, claimed Sykes "went over the line." Limbaugh's boot-licking lackey Brian Maloney lost what was left of his marbles with the wild-eyed headline "A bitch called Wanda" while yet again ripping into 'unhinged media and Hollywood elitists' (while disregarding that Limbaugh himself could easily be classified as an 'unhinged media and Hollywood elitist'). Other pro-GOP bloggers launched their own attacks. Funny, they elicited nary a peep when Don Imus cruelly ripped into Bill Clinton at the 1996 Dinner. Clinton was not amused. Right-wingers said tough shit.

But this is different. After all, how dare this... this... BLACK LIBERAL (and a LESBIAN to boot!) put a pox on Rush's kidneys! Or call him a (gasp!) terrorist! Make fun of his drug addiction! And how dare she claim Hannity ain't tough enough to fly outside of first class! Hey, even the 'mainstream' news media, ever so quick to do backflips in order to give Limbaugh "the Maloney treatment" (i.e. kiss his ass and beg for scraps), will probably make hay of the whole Sykes non-controversy.

But will the suck-up myopic media go along with the wingnut attempts to turn a silly comedy monologue into a banal non-scandal for President Obama? Particularly since he had the unmitigated gall to... get this... laugh at Sykes' jokes? The horror!

Yeah, that's right. Obama laughed. And quite frankly, after all the cruel, mean-spirited shit he's taken from loudmouth assholes like Limbaugh, Hannity, et. al., Obama deserves to laugh the loudest. If these right-wing media rabble-rousers are so danged tough (or tough enough to even fly coach like us rank-and-file), they can take it in stride without their lemmings crapping their diapers and falling over themselves demanding personal apologies from Sykes, Obama, the attendees and anyone else watching who laughed at the cruel, mean-spirited and hate-filled jokes aimed at their fearful leaders.

Hey, I laughed. And no, I won't apologize.

So, why always the kids-gloves treatment for Limbaugh? After all, it's alright for Limbaugh to cruelly mock Michael J. Fox's crippling bout with Parkinson's Disease, but not okay for a comedian to take jabs at El Dumbo? Am I getting this right?

And how many outraged right-wingers no doubt laugh their asses off at just about every vile rant that falls out of Ann Coulter's mouth? Where's the outrage there?

Needless to say, few are better at playing the 'victim' card these days than the 'holier than thou' tighty-righties. And they consider themselves to be the hardass tough guys? Lord have mercy!

'But, but...,' they say, 'Limbaugh's a private citizen speaking his mind. He should not be subject to public ridicule.' Well, what about 'private citizens' like the Dixie Chicks and Michael Moore, who were viciously attacked in recent years by countless right-wingers for speaking their minds? Tell ya what, when Limbaugh becomes the subject of death threats, blacklists and radio boycotts like Dixie Chick Natalie Maines, then I'll sympathize.

Limbaugh calls himself an 'entertainer' as he strives to become the tail that wags the mangy dog that is today's Republican Party. Sykes is an entertainer, and aspires to nothing more.

Crybaby conservatives have no shame cruelly savaging the likes of Maines, Moore, Janeane Garafalo, Linda Ronstadt and any other outspoken left-leaning celebrity in Hollywood for the mere sin of publicly voicing their opinions. Even going so far as to issue their own personal fatwas (i.e. death threats). But turn the tables? And in a humorous manner, no less? They go crying to their mommies!

So, let me spell it all out for you tighty-rightie sissies that are reading this. Your movement is out of favor not only because of your idols' self-indulgent 'scorched earth' attacks on this very nation, resulting in endless wars and the worst economic turmoil since the Hoover Administration. It collapsed because nobody likes sore losers, crybabies and sniveling wimps who love to dish it out but can't take it. We've put up with your shit for eight years, while you called us traitors, 'anti-American' and worse. You've spent the past decade and a half attacking this mythological thing you call 'political correctness', deeming it as some sort of fiendish liberal plot, all while using your own version of the very concept to suit your own needs. You people are weak and pathetic.

I say to wingnuts everywhere, pull your heads out of Rush Limbaugh's cyst-covered fat ass and take a deep breath. You are not victims. You are wussies. Nobody respects wussies. And nobody likes hypocrites. Or sore losers. So take your medicine and suck it up. That's karma coming back to bite you in the buttocks.

And if you want respect, or perhaps an eventual return to power, then grow a thicker skin, for crying out loud. Because, quite bluntly, you guys are really just a bunch of chickenshits.

In closing, I've got the punchline to beat all punchlines to wrap up this whole story. This fall, Wanda Sykes gets her very own Saturday late-night talk show. The place? Why, the FOX network, of course.

6 comments:

Lu Cifer, http://Lu666Cifer.blogspot.com said...

Again, I can't help but laugh. Cons can dish out EVERYTHING on anybody left of Hitler, but OH NO! Don't say crap about them! WAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!
Ok ok, I'll buy y'all a pacifier!
http://www.RandiRhodesArchives.com

libhom said...

You really nailed it with this commentary. There really was a lot of cheap whine from the right on this one.

jvwalt said...

Lewis Black performed at this dinner a couple of years ago, and did a routine about it on one of his recent CDs. Basically, he said it was the most stuck-up, self-important, touchy crowd he'd ever seen, and he would never, ever take the gig again.

I don't know why they hire edgy comedians for the job, and then get offended when the comedians are, well, edgy. Wanda Sykes has a razor wit and a strong point of view. She was clearly restraining herself. Indeed, a routine like that would have been mocked off the stage at BET Tonight for being too mild. If you don't want your comedian to make waves, then go hire Frank Caliendo or Carrot Top.

Anthony040 said...

'Brian Maloney lost what was left of his marbles with the wild-eyed headline "A bitch called Wanda"'

You stay classy, Maloney. And yet, you still have the audacity to stalk Randi Rhodes and attack Mike Malloy for saying something OH-SO-HORRIBUL!!!!!111

Has it ever struck Maloney that he's a Gestapo-style censorship activist, who wants to destroy ALL libtalk not because of "bad ratings" or "no market for liberals" - but simply because he doesn't agree with what they say? Brian Maloney would use the First Amendment as toilet paper seven days a week. There, I said it.

James L. Greenlee said...

Bravo! Awesome post!

Jill said...

Word.


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