Wednesday, July 08, 2009

Wingnuts claim evil liberals shut down station, amid skyrocketing tin foil sales

We all know that many die-hard right-wingers are having problems coping with the current sad state of the conservative movement. Hey, we've got 60 senate seats, a majority in the house and a black liberal in the White House.

I love America. I really, really do

But one has to kinda feel sorry for those tighty-righties out there. Things are so rough for the crybaby conservative movement that its minions are reaching new, ridiculous levels of paranoia.

For this story, we travel to Eugene, Oregon. A local conservotalk station, KPNW (1120AM) has been off the air since Friday. Station personnel claim that hot summer temperatures caused a transmitter failure. Meanwhile, some of the station's listeners had other ideas.

From the Register Guard:

Since the station’s transmitter failed early Friday morning, Program Director Bill Lundun says, the phone lines have been jammed with concerned callers.

Some are conspiracy theorists, convinced that the Obama administration is behind the outage.

Ted Egan, an 80-year-old listener from Veneta, said Monday that while the station says it’s had problems with the transmitter, he thinks something else may have happened.

"You listen to these guys talk, and they are really down on this guy Obama. They really blast him," he said. "I don’t think he likes it, and I think he has the power to do something. To think, in this day and age that this station can just be off the air for three days … it seems strange."

I realize that some of these people think President Obama is the messiah (or is it the other way around?), but seriously, I highly doubt he has control over the weather. Or at least control enough to zap radio stations off the air.

So, if the idea of Obama, who is currently elbows-deep in trying to sort out the economy, health care and international relations (and is, at this point, traveling from Russia to Italy for the G8 conference), hijacking a tiny AM station in Oregon seems rather ridiculous, the other excuses are also rather ridiculous, though not surprising given the source.

Lundun said, "One caller said he was convinced that a group of liberal terrorists had gone and attacked our transmitter. Obviously that was not the case."

Other listeners who called the station claimed that the 'liberal media' is to blame for shutting down the station, and depriving them of their Lars Larson and Rush Limbaugh fix.

So, blame Obama. Check. Blame the so-called 'liberal media'. Double Check. These guys are nothing if not totally predictable. The only thing they didn't blame was Slick Willie's willie.

What really happened to KPNW sounds more reasonable. The main transmitter failed on Friday. Engineers switched to a backup unit, which happens to be 60 years old. That ancient relic lasted until Sunday morning, when it caught fire.

Currently, engineers are working to return the station to the air, and hope to get it back on soon.

But listeners should be warned. As it stands now, the Obama administration has been experimenting with a device that can send subsonic signals through individual radios. These waves have the ability to brainwash anyone listening. Oh wait, conservative talk radio is doing that already. Nevermind.

So, was this all merely the heat-related failure of the main transmitter and the flameout of a much older backup? Or was it a part of some evil liberal plot, designed to further pummel those poor right-wingers? Is Obama, who's favorable ratings are more than double that of even the most popular conservojocks, reaching all the way across the country to silence some small-town AM station? Is Obama also to blame for the death of Michael Jackson? Did he plant a girl in Argentina for the sole purpose of banging South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford? Did he force Sarah Palin to resign as governor of Alaska?

More importantly, what kind of glue are these tin-foil idiots huffing anyway?

To be honest, I kinda feel sorry for these folks. With a crazy flock like this, It's gonna be pretty rough for them come 2010 and 2012.


Aaron said...

In all fairness, I remember when 1530 WCKY in Cincinnati was off the air due to a transmitter fire and some people thought Bush was behind it. I think even Randi Rhodes mentioned the incident at one point, but I'm sure she was just being facetious.

jvwalt said...

Naturally, Obama's first target in his march to global domination is a tinny little AM talker in Eugene, Oregon. These wingnuts have, among many other things, big-time delusions of grandeur.

Kenneth E. Tucker said...

Head for the hills! The 'gun grabbers' (a fav Lars Larson invective directed at the liberal left) are coming!

No, make that "the commie liberal anti-christ" Michele Bachman.

As the Kurt Vonnegut character, Kilgore Trout observed: "And so on."

Frank Zappa go it right, proved out by this fools:

"Some scientists claim that hydrogen, because it is so plentiful, is the basic building block of the universe. I dispute that. I say there is more stupidity than hydrogen, and that is the basic building block of the universe."

ltr said...

Aaron -

You bring up a very good point, and I've always winced when people claimed these things were all a part of some kind of conspiracy.

WCKY was always a mess. Most of the problems they had were with their automation software, which would often run multiple audio feeds at once. I believe I even wrote about this.

Speaking as someone who once trotted a hundred yards or so in the middle of the night in waist-deep snow to reboot a transmitter, I do know that these things can easily break down. Particularly old AM equipment from the Eisenhower era.

Ederlore said...

Now why would us libruls wanna' take those rightwing whacky-doodles off the air? You can't get that kind of raging,paranoid entertainment unless you hang out at a mental institution. Besides, they "own" 90% of the AM airwaves but then I guess their listeners don't know how to stream Rush over the 'internets'. Maybe all them 'tubes' confuse them.

Cat Chew said...

Sorry, conservatives! You were this close, but the correct answer is:
talkers from the Eisenhower era
and modern equipment.

Link to sound effect at

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