Stewart and Colbert return - unwritten

The 2008 presidential sweepstakes is in full swing.

Current Republican frontrunner Gomer Pyle Mike Huckabee looks to be the village idiot. Following the assassination of former Pakistani Prime Minister Benazir Bhutto, Huck called for tightened security on the Mexican border, lest any Pakistani terrorists get through. Once the laughter died down, his camp tried to backpedal, saying that he doesn't have any foreign policy experience. No, I'm not making this up.

Bottom-of-the-pile fear monger Rudy Giuliani, upon coming in almost dead last in Iowa last week, brushed off the caucus results, claiming that the Iowa outcome didn't scare him as much as "9/11" did.

Self-appointed 'mouthpiece of God' Pat Robertson claims that the almighty spoke to him and already gave His endorsement for president. But Robertson was coy about it, claiming he was keeping it a secret. Incidentally, Pat supports the dead-in-the-water Giuliani for president.

And in much more important news, Britney Spears went apeshit again last week. The reports of an ambulance hauling the pop princess to the hospital last Thursday night almost upstaged the Iowa Caucus on the so-called news channels.

With all this silliness in the world, we need more late night comedians to talk about it. More than ever. Unfortunately, there's a writer's strike going on.

In the past week, late night hosts have begun to return to work. David Letterman scored a coup when his production company, Worldwide Pants, which owns his show and that of Craig Ferguson, struck an independent interim deal with the Writers Guild of America to resume production, with full writing staffs, bits, monologues, etc. intact. Jay Leno, Conan O'Brien and Jimmy Kimmel, who's shows are owned by the networks, returned to work, but without support of the Guild. As all three are Guild members, they are heavily restricted in what they could do. They're restricted in even writing their own material!

These limitations are going to hold back Comedy Central political humorists Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert as they return to the airwaves tonight after being sidelined for two months. Stewart and Colbert, both members of the Guild, are staunch supporters of the strike. Two weeks ago, when both shows announced their imminent return, then added, in typically ironic fashion: "We would like to return to work with our writers. If we cannot, we would like to express our ambivalence, but without our writers we are unable to express something as nuanced as ambivalence." Considering that their shows are heavily dependent on crack writing staffs and scripted material, it may well be the equivalent of shuffling cards while wearing boxing gloves.

Sure, they could just stick to extended interview segments. But that's another problem. Campaigning politicians, particularly those on the Democratic side, may not be too keen on pissing off valuable union supporters by crossing WGA picket lines to appear on these shows. So far, only Huckabee has been willing to do so, appearing for two whole segments on the guest-deprived "The Tonight Show" last week. A-list celebrities, who often appear on late night shows, are members of the Screen Actors Guild and won't cross picket lines either.

So, what will these shows do without their writers? And without high-profile guests? All while abiding by WGA strike rules?

"The Daily Show" is a news parody show. "The Colbert Report" is a mockery of blowhard cable news pundit shows, ala Bill O'Reilly. Unlike The Tonight Show and others, these are much more dependent on writing staffs. Leno can go on and play with wild animals, cook with Emeril Lagasse and introduce bands while waiting out the strike. Leno and Kimmel will even make appearances as guests on each others' shows this Thursday. With the Comedy Central shows, it gets a bit trickier.

Under WGA rules, Stewart and Colbert are technically not allowed to write their own material. Leno, a guild member, has gotten quite a bit of flack for writing his own monologues the past week. He insisted he had gained approval from the guild. The guild's not too keen on that, and has vowed to take some form of action, as yet unspecified.

"Leno will not get a pass. The guild has told him he can't write his monologues," said Sherry Goldman, a spokeswoman for the Writers Guild of America East.

Stewart and Colbert, both members of the guild, are barred from writing anything. How much they will be allowed to improvise is also unknown. Comedy Central spokesman Tony Fox said, "Stephen and Jon are still figuring out what they're going to do on Monday night's show."

So far, the strike continues on. The best hope is to bypass the Alliance of Motion Picture and Television Producers (AMPTP) and deal with production companies individually. Worldwide Pants so far has been the only production company to agree to an interim deal with the guild. United Artists, headed by actor Tom Cruise, struck a deal with the guild earlier today. Dick Clark Productions, producer of the Golden Globe Awards, has attempted to do likewise, but NBC, which was originally slated to run the show this coming weekend, claims that the guild turned them down. The result, in lieu of the Screen Actors Guild boycotting it, was the outright cancellation of the event. Rumor has it independent film studios, such as Lion's Gate, Weinstein and Lucasfilm are currently looking into interim deals with the guild. For the bigger conglomerates, such as NBC Universal, Disney/ABC, CBS/Paramount, Time Warner and others, resolution may become a bit more problematic.

Why are the late night hosts returning to work, in defiance of the guild? To support the many behind-the-scenes employees of each show, who aren't members of the guild or any other union. Without shows to work on, they are effectively laid off. Many of the hosts paid those employees out of pocket for the first few weeks of the strike, but with threats of employee furloughs, the hosts returned to keep the shows in production.

Here's hoping that the guild and the Hollywood studios and television networks can once and for all get together and put an end to this whole thing. The striking writers aren't asking for a whole lot, and deserve a fair deal involving new media. Let's hope a resolution comes soon, since there's a lot of comedy material ripe for the picking on the campaign trail.

Hollywood writers set to strike

Well, here's hoping you like reruns and reality shows.

After an imposed deadline for negotiations with movie and television producers and studios passed without an agreement, the Writers Guild of America's leadership late Thursday formally declared its intention to call a strike, according to people familiar with the matter.

The strike could start as early as Monday, and would be the union's first strike in nearly 20 years.

The dispute this time around centers around royalites from new media, such as DVD and online releases, including video downloads. They see this as part of the future of television and film.

"The future of TV is not going to look like what it's been for the last 30 years," said TV writer Dave Schiff, who has penned scripts for "King of the Hill" and "That 70s Show."

"So, you know it's not just for us who are currently working, but writers down the line, that we make sure that we get a ... piece of the pie."

But CBS President Nina Tassler said not enough is known yet about new media revenues to figure out what the royalty structure would be.

"We don't know what the pie is yet, in order to determine how to cut it up," she said recently.

So, what does this mean to us? Well, if a strike does take place, and goes on for awhile, no new episodes of your favorite shows will be produced, since there would be no scripts. Expect reruns and more reality and game shows, which do not use WGA writers.

Scripted shows may take a while to feel the effects, as there are already episodes in the can, enough to run through the end of the year. Feeling the pinch of a strike immediately would be topical late night talk shows. That would mean David Letterman, Jay Leno, Conan O'Brien and the rest would go into reruns. These shows are often written the same day or close to it. Other topical shows such as "Saturday Night Live" would also be shut down.

And perhaps most notable to many readers of this blog would be the freezing of programs like "The Daily Show" and "The Colbert Report" on Comedy Central. "Real Time with Bill Maher" could also be affected, but will likely go on a planned extended break soon. Although with so many of the jokes seemingly writing themselves, perhaps guys like Stewart don't really need scribes.

On perhaps one of the few positive notes, NBC is looking into airing the original British version of "The Office," from several years ago, to fill in for the awesome American version if need be. They're also looking into reruns of HBO's witty "Curb Your Enthusiasm." And if there is a silver lining in all of this, perhaps this will mean the quiet end of the hideous "Cavemen."

As for the film industry, they're better prepared for a strike, since they rushed to have as many scripts and projects in the can as possible.

'Foxopedia' and the comedy of errors

Fans of the old DC Comics books may be familiar with a character named Bizarro. He's a strange cat, who's persona is that of being the exact reverse of the world around him, most notably arch-nemesis Superman.

Bizarro comes from a planet called Htrae (spell it backward), which is worth mentioning in that it is cube-shaped. It is often referred to as Bizarro World. Everything there is opposite of Earth. Ugly is beautiful, beautiful is ugly. Black is white, white is black. You get the idea. Basically, everything in Bizarro World is the opposite of reality.

The same could almost be said for FOX News Channel. One suspects that they seem to live in their own little Bizarro World, where just a little crafty spin can create a sort of artificial reality for their jaded viewers, who seem to feel out of place in the real world. A Republican does something bad? That's okay, he's branded a Democrat. Things going bad in Conservoworld? No problem, they just turn that frown upside down. Nothing a little creative spin doctoring can't clean up. The people of Bizarro World spoke in simple, nonsensical grunts. Hey, so do the people of FOX News!

I've often given FOX News a little more slack than most. I recognize them for what they are, namely a feel-good fantasy channel for crabby conservatives who feel paranoid that the alleged 'librul' media is out to brainwash them and steal their children. Right-wing fantasy porn. But let's face it, FOX Noise is only as offensive as one makes it. Besides, while they do well in the cable news subculture, they're really only watched by a small percentage of the overall viewing public. Kinda like AM talk radio. Most people could care less about cable news. And many of the people who watch it either take everything with a grain of salt or are already guzzling the proverbial powdered drink mix. This basically makes them further irrelevant. If conservatives want to live in their own little virtual reality, hey, let 'em. It's easier to poke fun at them.

In effect, FOX Noise has tried to carve out its own niche as the last resort for right-wing political wonks. And they usually have a pretty good idea of what they want. And I'll be the first to admit that they are very good at what they do, when one considers what they are in fact really doing.

Lately, they have tried to expand the FOX News brand. Take for instance their recent attempt at comedy. No, I'm not talking about Hannity and Colmes. I'm talking about their own bizarro version of Comedy Central's highly popular news parody The Daily Show, a rather weak effort that was unleashed on the public earlier this year. The Half Hour News Hour was envisioned as a more 'fair and balanced' version of Jon Stewart's show, which I imagine they felt was vulgar, subversive 'librul' fare. Well, they likely thought, what about a cheap knockoff crammed with a bunch of stale Hillary jokes?

So off to the drawing board they went. The producer is the guy who brought us "24," a rather mundane, overrated spy yarn that mostly featured civil servants standing around arguing in control rooms. To spice it up, they shot it with hand-held cameras and had the actors yell and emote a lot. News flash - Alias was better. Much better. So, the producer, Joel Surnow (also well-known as Rush Limbaugh's Dominican Republic wingman) helped craft a direct ripoff of The Daily Show and the 'Weekend Update' feature on Saturday Night Live. Unfortunately, in FOX's version of bizarro world, what's intentionally serious is often funny, and what's intended to be funny is usually far from it. The FAUX News 'comedy' show looked more like a really bad version of SNL in one of their bad years than the hilarious Jon Stewart show. It got horrible reviews. The first sketch was something about Rush Limbaugh and Ann Coulter being president and vice president, no doubt giving the children of America disturbing nightmares. The hosts of THHNH were bland, amateurish, dorky, plastic-looking and rather unfunny. Then again, so was the rest of the show. Hey, at least SNL's Charles Rocket dropped the F-bomb on live network TV.

The initial ratings were adequate, probably better than any of the leftover fare often found in the Sunday Night News Channel Deathslot (let's face it, the lame-ass hosts with the fake names are definitely not ready for prime time). But the show fizzled over time, and now, it's being dropped. Yesterday, FNC's programming chief Bill Shine announced that no further episodes will be produced following its current 15 episode run. They are, however, considering a revamp of the show for future use.

As I mentioned months ago, THHNH had a serious uphill climb ahead of it. First of all, conservatives are often not that funny. As stated previously here, the best topical comedy often pokes fun at the 'establishment' or 'authority.' And let's face it, you most certainly can't get anymore 'establishment' than the Republican Party, and they were basically off-limits as far as targets go. There are rare exceptions, such as P.J. O'Rourke, who also possesses a rapid-fire wit. But Dennis Miller? Come on! Oh, and did I mention Miller was a commentator on the failed FOX News comedy show? 'Nuff said.

So, the FOX Noise Comedy Half-Hour Hour or whatever it's called has been fed to the worms, though the door has been left open for reanimation sometime in the future, with a great deal of tweaking. How will it change? Probably for the worse (if it can indeed get worse). Might I make a suggestion? Perhaps instead of trying to carbon copy The Daily Show, why not start watching the even more brilliant The Colbert Report? If FAUX Noise is to resurrect their not-so-divine comedy, they need to do something radical. Namely, self-parody. Now, this is a pretty bold suggestion for a news channel as self-righteous and pompous as FNC. They'll lie, scream and cry before they let anyone diss their meal ticket, let alone do it themselves. But if there's a subject ripe for parody, it would be FOX News Channel itself. Besides, they may even gain a little respect for having the ability to poke fun at themselves, particularly from the many, many people that think they're full of shit. Why not self-mockery? Sadly, I highly doubt FNC has the humility required to pull off something so radical. But if they do, drop me an email to discuss intellectual property royalties.

So, the intended attempt at humor was discovered to be rather unfunny, and yesterday, the gang at the FOX Nuisance Channel were caught with their hands in the proverbial cookie jar due to an unintended humorous series of events that turned out to be downright hilarious.

Yesterday morning, the tubes of the internet were all aglow with an article at Wired.com about a new little search tool designed by CalTech grad student Virgil Griffith. This little do-hickey, called the Wikiscanner, was designed for amateur sleuths and Wikipedia addicts to find out just who these so-called 'anonymous' users are that contribute those strange edits and selective deletions.

So far, people at the headquarters of defective voting machine manufacturer Diebold have been outed for providing their own little spin on articles about them and their suspicious practices. Scientology whitewashes their articles, but we already suspected that. We also found out what the CIA is doing on there. Some evil Republican tried to spoil the ending of the new Harry Potter book. And no doubt people are scouring Wikipedia to see what people inside the U.S. Congress are editing, such as the user who added this little difference between Ronald Reagan and Bill Clinton. On computers owned by the Government. Yes, the skeletons were released from the closet.

Perhaps the funniest thing uncovered so far, besides the CBS staffer who changed Clinton's birthplace to 'Hot Dog, Arkansas' comes from our friends at "The most powerful name in noise." Allegedly, when they're not creating revisionist news fiction, and when their pundits aren't screaming at each other, they're being pretty ferocious online, trying to make the rest of the world look like the false reality so vividly displayed on their television property. Artur Bergman made a fascinating discovery when he uncovered what colors the gang at FOX were using to paint their own candy-coated world. Witness this little short-lived change on Al Franken's article, as the original text up to that point looked like this:

The lawsuit focused a great deal of media attention upon Franken's book and greatly enhanced its sales. Reflecting later on the lawsuit during an interview on the [[National Public Radio]] program ''[[Fresh Air]]'' on [[September 3]], [[2003]], Franken said that Fox's case against him was "literally laughed out of court" and that "wholly (holy) without merit" is a good characterization of Fox News itself.

The FOX Noise 'anonymous' user made a few changes:

The lawsuit focused a great deal of media attention upon Franken's book and greatly enhanced its sales. Reflecting later on the lawsuit during an interview on the [[National Public Radio]] program ''[[Fresh Air]]'' on [[September 3]], [[2003]], Franken said that Fox's case against him was liberal [[National Public Radio]] program ''[[Fresh Air]]'' on [[September 3]], [[2003]], Franken said that Fox's case against him was the best thing to happen to his book sales.

Unfortunately for them, this little masterpiece lasted all of eight minutes before being reverted.

And notice the slapping-on of the term 'liberal' in describing Fresh Air? Hey, at least they spelled it correctly there, as opposed to this edit. Oops!

So, who exactly is this person? Well, there is at least a little anonymity left on the net, as this person (or persons, since anyone in the building could have been making edits) is only known as 12.167.224.228. So it may be a big gun like, say Bill O'Reilly. Or it may just be some underling in a cubicle. Nonetheless, the IP number is indeed assigned to the FOX News HQ.

So, how else has .228 (since there's no first or last name, let's refer to this moniker) been attempting to 'Foxify' Wikipedia? Well, one look at the edit history assigned to the number shows some rather interesting revelations. Editing is very heavy on the articles of their high profile personalities. Witness the article on Shepard Smith, which shows an edit by .228 removing a couple bits - one about an arrest in Florida (even removing the Smoking Gun link with his mugshot) and the other about a hilarious on-air gaffe regarding the phrase 'blow job' in a story about Jennifer Lopez. Unfortunately for .228, video doesn't lie. The edits were reverted by the next day. In addition, references to Greta Van Susteren's facelift were deleted.

In addition, .228 was also trying to scrub articles on 'talents' such as Carl Cameron and Brit Hume (though, to be fair, some of the edits involve his son's alleged suicide, so best not go there). They also removed a paragraph from Chris Wallace's article that used a reference from long-time FAUX nemesis Media Matters for America.

Lots of fluff was added for the various FOX Noise comedy all-stars, but a bit of vitrol was reserved for their 'enemies list'. Keith Olbermann got slammed a bit by .228, ironic in that the network seems to disavow Olbermann's very existence. First, .228 removed a couple sentences about a well-received book Olbermann wrote about baseball coaches, one that was even recognized by the Baseball Hall of Fame. Next, .228 removed a cited source praising Olbermann. And then, .228 added a vague statement chastised a time when Olbermann, in reporting the death of Peter Jennings, told his own personal story about his battle with smoking. They also cleaned up a sentence reading, " Some conservatives feel that Olbermann's reporting carries a liberal bias" to remove the word 'some.' References to O'Reilly's infamous sexual harassment lawsuit were removed from the article. Within an hour, all these additions were reverted.

Remember that on-air gaffe by CNN that resulted in Dick Cheney's face being 'X'ed' out for a split second? That was expanded on by the fine folks at FAUX (they claim it was for 1/7 of a second rather than 1/15, if you're dying to know). Oh, the little things.

So, what is FAUX's deal anyway? Do they really think we're that stupid? Have they spent so long snookering the American public with their own brand of infotainment they really think they are living in Bizarro World, where they can fool all the people all the time on all the internet? Who knows. Will the newly revamped Half Hour News Hour bring this up? Doubtful.

Maron/Cox to team up for a raunchy "Meet The Press" concept

Pitched as "Meet the Press" but with nudity and graphic language, "The Gaggle" is a new concept being tested out by HBO.

For hosts, the network grabbed former Wonkette blogger Ana Marie Cox, currently the Washington editor of Time.com, and former Air America Radio talker Marc Maron. "The Gaggle" will have its debut at the U.S. Comedy Festival next month. So far, it's being conceived as a one-off panel just for the HBO-sponsored fest, but this event serves as a sort of live development slate for the network. Radar Online reports that HBO is testing the waters for a Sunday morning alternative to NBC's "Meet the Press" and ABC's "This Week With George Stephanopoulos" that would feature Cox, Maron, and two rotating panelists grilling whatever political figures they can convince to appear.

The festival's press release pitches it as a "smart, funny, provocative" attempt to bring the "freewheeling approach of ESPN-style sports talk to politics and pop culture."

An HBO source said that "everything at the comedy fest is a potential development idea for HBO," but played down the notion of a new entrant to the Sunday morning field. "Maybe someone had that thought, but I don't think it came from the network."

The show sounds like it would be an ideal fit with other HBO news/comedy fare such as "Real Time with Bill Maher." HBO parent Time Warner also produces "The Daily Show" and "The Colbert Report" for sister cable outlet Comedy Central.

Speaking of "The Colbert Report," host Stephen Colbert will be the recipient of the festival's inaugural Person of the Year Award. Speaking by press release, Colbert said, "I am humbled to be part of the U.S. Comedy Arts Festival's tireless efforts to bring joy to the wealthy."

The 13th annual USCAF is set for Feb. 28 through March 4.

Unfunny conservatives and "Mallard Fillmore" creator's DUI

From the 'humorless right-wing hypocrites' file comes this little tidbit about unfunny conservative cartoonist Bruce Tinsley.

Tinsley, creator of the conservative comic strip Mallard Fillmore, was arrested in Columbus Dec. 4 and charged with operating a vehicle under the influence -- his second alcohol-related arrest in less that four months, according to the Bartholomew County Sheriff's Department.

Tinsley, 48, who lives in Columbus, had a blood-alcohol level of 0.14 -- almost twice the level at which an Indiana driver is considered intoxicated. He posted $755 bond.

On Aug. 26, Tinsley was arrested for public intoxication, according to the sheriff's department.

Mallard Fillmore, about a conservative duck, appears in almost 400 newspapers nationwide, including The Indianapolis Star.

Well, I guess that explains why "Mallard Fillmore" is the biggest laugh-free comic strip since "The Family Circus" (though this version is hilarious). For those not familiar with Tinsley's atrocity, this feeble attempt at a cartoon is positioned as a wingnut answer to "Doonesbury". Only difference is that while Garry Trudeau's strip is often funny and ironic, "Mallard Fillmore" is neither. Often, the thing reads like a moronic wingnut whinefest with cheapshot attacks aimed at Democrats, tired political correctness cliches and liberal celebrities. Essentially, it's kinda like a comic strip from Ann Coulter, but she's actually mildly funny, albeit in an unintentionally tragic and pathetic way. Tinsley's work is simply just crude and ill-informed.

One of the problems with "Mallard Fillmore" is that conservatives, by nature, are really not funny. Often, conservative 'humor' comes off as just plain mean spirited and whiney. They also seem to just simply tread tired gags and stereotypes. Clinton blow-job jokes were a staple of late-night television in the 1990s, now they're pretty worn out as conservatives still use them. Same with the hippie and tree-hugger jokes. They seem so hard-up for material, they're even trying to dig up the grave of shamed commie-baiter Joe McCarthy.

Humor and satire work much more effectively when directed toward those in power, or rather unpopular subjects. Poking fun at 'the establishment' is effective, while ribbing the disenfranchised comes across as bullying.

Humor also has a self-depricating quality to it. Without it, the budding jokester comes across as a shallow hypocrite (as Tinsley has in his mocking of Sen. Ted Kennedy). Many on the right claim that "The Daily Show" has an outright liberal bias toward it. Even FOX 'News', as well as a few others, are planning their own answer to it. But "The Daily Show" often mocks those on the left as well, such as the funny bit about Nancy Pelosi replacing the Pledge of Allegiance with a passage from The Vagina Monologues. The creators of "South Park" have a distinct advantage, as Trey Parker and Matt Stone have been very vocal about their strong dislike of both conservatives and liberals. Maintaining a political viewpoint rarely takes precedence over a good joke. Even the occasional funny conservative such as P.J. O'Rourke realizes this. While Rush Limbaugh enjoyed some success ridiculing the party in power during the 1990s (Democrats), his show has sounded much more whiney and apologetic since the Republicans took over. Ever hear Limbaugh mock Republicans? Of course not.

All in all, when conservatives try to be funny, they most often come across as a straight-forward version of Frank Burns from the classic TV series "M*A*S*H", even though the late, great Larry Linville brilliantly played the ultra-conservative war hawk character for laughs as a satire in itself. And the character was embraced by millions because of it. Stephen Colbert gets this too, as he brilliantly satirizes conservative commentators every night.

Most of the time, conservative humor comes across as unintentionally funny. Recently, a University of Texas student group called the "Young Conservatives of Texas" created a parody Christmas nativity scene, complete with a gay couple called Gary and Joseph standing in for the expectant parents, a terrorist shepherd with a bomb strapped to himself, Marx, Stalin and Lenin as the three wise men, incoming House Speaker Nancy Pelosi as an angel and no baby Jesus in the manger. It was an ill-informed protest directed at the ACLU, who are obviously a non-partisan group (they even defended Rush Limbaugh, for cryin' out loud!). Now, if this nativity scene parody were done by a left-leaning group, it would have been much funnier. Instead, as a conservative protest, it's mostly met with groans and eye-rolling. The last laugh came from the ACLU, who have taken the whole protest in stride: "I think it's fairly festive,' said ACLU executive director Will Harrell. "We want to make sure they have a right to freely exercise their First Amendment right. But keep in mind, nothing in the First Amendment requires that you be accurate about the information. The First Amendment protects parody as well."

Now that's funny!

Even funnier is the thought of the letters of adoration that are soon to come in over this article. Such as this one from "Peter Mccabe" (his spelling, not mine), who obviously is a big fan of this site:

From: "Peter M Mccabe"
To: ltradiomail@yahoo.com
Subject:
Date: Tue, 12 Dec 2006 12:14:38 -0600

you people are full of hate

Full of 'hate'? No way! We're full of loooooove! Now, if you would have said "full of shit", then you may have a point...