Rush Limbaugh: No balls, no glory

Well, it looks like Rush Limbaugh's dream of being a football mogul has been squashed. Boo hoo.

Dave Checketts, chairman of the NHL's St. Louis Blues and the front man in the group attempting to purchase the Rams, has removed Boss Hogg from his potential role as a minority owner, in an attempt to get approval from other NFL owners. The move comes amid outcry from players, team executives, league commissioner Roger Goodell and the rest of the civilized world.

From the get-go, Limbaugh's efforts ran into stiff resistance. Various players around the league also stated that they would refuse to ever play for a Limbaugh-led Rams. Good luck with free agency, Rush.

The NFL Players Union also said no. DeMaurice Smith, the Executive Director of the NFL Players Association, wrote an email to the association’s executive committee, detailing his opposition to Limbaugh’s bid. "Sport in America is at its best when it unifies, gives all of us reason to cheer, and when it transcends. Our sport does exactly that when it overcomes division and rejects discrimination and hatred."

Indianapolis Colts owner Jim Irsay also went on record as being dead set against it. "I, myself, couldn’t even consider voting for him."

Goodell also had concerns about Limbaugh, amid the many controversial and racist comments spoken on his radio show. "I've said many times before, we're all held to a high standard here. I would not want to see those comments coming from people who are in a responsible position in the NFL -- absolutely not."

Let's face it, the NFL doesn't want a repeat of the whole Victor Kiam fiasco.

Even many in the sports media denounced the Limbaugh bid.

But with the widespread outcry over the possibility of Limbaugh buying into the NFL, his  lemmings are crying foul. Many have denied that Limbaugh made many of those controversial statements attributed to his show. And not surprisingly, many of them, Limbaugh included, are playing the 'victim card.'

And they're also crying about a double standard. You see, the NFL and its owners yesterday approved the addition of one minority owner to the leagues ranks. Would you believe pop singer Stacy Ferguson, a.k.a. Fergie?

Now, rest assured, Fergie, of bubblegum hip-hoppers Black Eyed Peas, is not taking over the Dolphins. In fact, it's all part of owner Stephen Ross' crazy ongoing gimmick of selling token shares of the team to local celebrities (Ross owns 95% of the team outright). People like singers Gloria Estefan, Marc Anthony and Jimmy Buffett (who helped rename the home field Land Shark Stadium), and tennis players Venus and Serena Williams. And the stakes they own in the Dolphins are really ceremonial. In essence, they own about as much of the Dolphins as a typical shareholder does of the Green Bay Packers. So, relax Dolphins fans, Fergie's not going to order Executive VP Bill Parcells to start Tyler Thigpen at QB instead of Chad Henne on Sunday, or demand Coach Tony Sparano ditch the wildcat offense. Limbaugh's contribution to the Checketts Rams deal was, on the other hand, reported to be quite hefty. Big difference.

Not surprisingly, the tighty-righty crowd is up in arms about all this, and are pathetically attempting to smear Fergie in much the same way as they perceived their master to have been smeared. The Weekly Standard is even trying to put her on the same level as Limbaugh. Brent Bozell and the gang at the Media Research Center are hopping mad too (surprise, surprise). Sure, the Black Eyed Peas did do that song "Let's Get Retarded," which was later edited to "Let's Get It Started" for its single release. But really, is it that offensive? More offensive than Limbaugh saying "[I]n Obama's America, the white kids now get beat up with the black kids cheering."

And doesn't Fergie sing all those raunchy tunes, like "My Humps," a song basically about...well, her ass? Well, that doesn't sound as divisive as Limbaugh singing "Barack, The Magic Negro?" As irritating as "My Humps" is, it is only offensive to people with good taste, who have likely gotten over it by now.

Hey, she's confessed to having lesbian affairs in the past! No, that's not included with Dolphins luxury box sales. Pervert!

Well, she admitted that she had a past drug addiction. Hey, so did Limbaugh! Call it even.

But again, why Fergie, and not Limbaugh? She's a friend of Obama! Therefore, the NFL is discriminating because they're a bunch of liberal socialist Marxist communist terrorists! Yeah, right. Most of the owners are Republicans!

Well, if you have to ask further, well, perhaps you've been listening to too much Limbaugh.

Fergie has, as of late, been in the good graces of the NFL, donning a pink Dolphins jersey for the league's recent breast cancer awareness campaign. And unlike Limbaugh, she has never built a career out of hatred.

Limbaugh, who made his fortune stirring up racial hostility, attempted to buy into a league where 75% of the players are African-American. No problem with Fergie -- she's in a group with three black guys!

And really, what's more offensive or polarizing? Fergie's lady lumps or Limbaugh describing the NFL as "the Crips and Bloods without the weapons?" Again, if you have to ask, you've been listening to too much Limbaugh.

But some within the league wonder if Limbaugh was really all that serious about owning an NFL team. They viewed his attempt as nothing more than a dose of free publicity, no matter the outcome or the response to his involvement. "There was no downside in any of this for him,'' a league source said. "He gets a week of free publicity, and in the end, he'll frame his rejection to his benefit.'' As if that attention whore is that desperate for people to notice him. Yeah, he probably is. And we all know how he'll spin it on his next show.

Suffice it to say, Limbaugh has made tons and tons of money by using hostile and offensive rhetoric to divide people, all in the name of creating what he calls 'entertainment'. But all those millions of dollars he has stashed away does not mean he gets a free pass. This spoiled brat can't have his cake and eat it too.