Bill vs. Steph: Who's got more cred?

I stumbled across this HuffPo article from Steve Young (the writer, not the quarterback) this morning. It's a hilarious entry that I felt was definitely worth sharing. Enjoy!

There is a school of thought that Bill O'Reilly's worst enemy is Keith Olbermann - at least since Franken left civil court with books sales well in hand. But Keith only spends a moment or two a week mocking Bill, most often in his "Worst Person of the Week" segment. Jones Radio's Stephanie Miller does Bill every day.

I have no idea why people listen to the O'Reilly Radio Factor but I do know why the same people don't listen to the Miller Newscast. If they did, they would find out why what Bill said the day before, was wrong...or hilariously dumb. Flat out laughable. With a capitol "WHAT AN ASSHOLE."

Still, that's a myopic viewpoint one would expect from a Huffington Post writer. What do the facts say? As we know, talk show news reporting is all about the facts.

A new study from the PIOMA Foundation - the very same PIOMA O'Reilly goes to for most of his research - did a comparable analyzation of the two shows and determined the following...

While Bill will sell his newsman credentials at the drop of an ego, Stephanie is just as quick to tout her investigative work at the Itchy Kitty. Bill constantly lauds his crack research staff for amassing the hard-hitting facts behind the story, many times getting them wrong.

Stephanie harasses crack engineer/producer Chris Lavoie, who works for minimum wage to amass material from Bill's show, recording everything he says wrong. A 24/7 job.

Bill books Geraldo, Newt and Dick Morris every week

Steph has voiceguy extraordinaire Jim Ward who does Geraldo, Dick Morris and Newt Gingrich every day.

Bill's balances his show with sidekick E.D. Hill who only speaks to agree with everything Bill says.

Chris and Jim rarely agree with anything Stephanie says, and for the most part, are right.

During his interview with the President, Bill proposed that Bush read his book.

During her interview with Senator Russ Feingold, Steph proposed marriage.

Bill considers himself an astute historian.

Steph considers herself a daily box of wine alchie (sic).

But what the PIOMA study focused on, was which journalist-like performer gets their reporting right more often.

This past week, continuing his effort to resurrect a sure ratings grabber, Bill declared that Crate & Barrel was ordering their employees not to say 'Merry Christmas',"

PIOMA researchers found that Crate & Barrel had no such anti-Merry Christmas policy, which in itself might have made Bill personally liable for C&B losses. But the ramifications went much further than that.

It's no secret that Bill's T-warrior omnipresence has the power to depress an entire country's economy, nearly causing France to shut its doors in 2003. There's no telling how much money Crate & Barrel lost, nor how many workers, most of which are Christian, had their hours cut back or were fired. And during the Christmas season yet. How many would not be able to afford to buy presents for their kids, even at stores like Walmart, which had learned the hard way, that you say "Merry Christmas" or you say goodbye to, um, a merry Christmas. Most important...what would Jesus say if he couldn't afford to by Christmas gifts?

Somewhere the baby Jesus is crying...not because he lost out on Christmas gifts, but in a one in two thousand six year coincidence, no birthday gifts. No murth. No frankincense. No myrrh. Just tears. Baby King tears,

On the other hand, Stephanie played the comment.

By all that's fair and balanced...that's a push.

But what really separates Bill from Steph? PIOMA says it's how Bill characterized the policy that Crate & Barrel does not have. Bill called it "the worst kind of fascism."

While some define fascism as a radical political ideology that combines elements of corporatism, authoritarianism, nationalism, militarism, anti-liberalism and anti-communism, Bill thinks of it as store policy. Like "No Shoes, No Service."

To think that Hitler nearly took over the world with a political system akin to "We Don't Take American Express," is not only stunning, but not very good business.

On the other hand, Bill might have meant that the Crate & Barrel's hardline, non-existent, "No Merry Christmas" policy is as devastating to humanity today as was the attempt to wipe every Jew, gay and musical theater proponent during World War II.

Either one, PIOMA points out, is essentially, overstating the truth, or what has come to be known everywhere else but talk radio, a lie.

Stephanie again, to the dismay of the PIOMA researchers, felt it necessary to make Bill's mis-comments worse by once again, replaying them.

Again, not much to choose from.

But when all the numbers were tallied, PIOMA found the tie-breaker came with Bill touting his show as one that "gets to the truth," while Stephanie admits her show to be, "fart joke, Senator, fart joke, Senator." Only one of descriptions could be corroborated.

Therefore, The Stephanie Miller Show was deemed the more credible-like newscast.

When told of the results, Ms. Miller said, "Cool. I hope Bill gets really mad. That's his special charm to me; his completely fact-free pyschotic rage."

Isn't she adorable?

Of course, while we now know which is the more credbile news report, the question remains: which show is more of a joke?